Posted by: unhappy | 2004/12/03


HI. I'M 23 AND MY BEST FRIENDS 16. we grown so close and on saturday while we two where holding each other and sleeping(friendly) we kissed. we started making out.
we stopped. I for the 1st time had a panic attack. took a walk and settled down. I was hurt before when i was 16 by my gf. never recovered. i act so l mean and macho.she and another friend says i have a complex. . any way i asked my friend if this is only a crush and she says no. i have feeling for her. she is muslim and i m tamil. she had 2 othe bf and got bored with them quickly. she has no father. any way the next day we kissed and made out again. we were really into each other. attraction and feelings were at boiling points. i asked her if i should 4 getwhat happened and she says no. so monday i called her from work. we spoke. Then late at night she says she wants us to be friends. religion and we friends and stuff, being the reason. i said ok.
i couldn't get her outta my head. so on thursday i tell her i miss her and want to hold her. she says she really likes me alot and she is so attracted to me, she tinks she gonna explode when she tinks of me.
then she says she doesn't want us to be together.religion,friends,etc...bla, bla,bla. so i started acting the way we use to be. mean and stuff, but i know she knows i still want her. any way i said we will 4 get what we did. we agreed. the thing is i can't get her outta of my system. i felt so nausious this morning. can't eat and stuff. i really care 4 her.I'm was so scared becos i got hurt b4 badly and plus she got bored with her 2 previous bf.(some kinda pattern there,i think), but i still wanted to take a chance. I was so scared, but happy on monday and now i so unhappy, although i don't show it. i bought her a heart pendant with the words' best friends' on it. giving her the other half next week when she cums back frm holiday. She sais i must keep it and give her when she cums back. she says she likes thing like that. i just talking a whole lot of mixed up things here becos IM SO CONFUSED!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sometimes when it's a crush, the participants don't recognize it as such. Don't you think you ought to be very careful about NOT "making out" with a 16-year-old ? Friends, maybe ; lovers - No. Sounds like she could be confused, too, and ambivalent ( feeling Yes / No ). being immature causes problems, but the good news is that we usually grow out of it.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sweetcakes | 2004/12/03

i'm just glad that i could help!
you right friendship is more important!

Reply to sweetcakes
Posted by: less confused | 2004/12/03

thank u sweet cakes. i was feeling so guilty. that she was 16 after the previous msg.

anyway i value our friendship more then anything..and i won't spoil that.

u made me feel better. friendship is more important. and i'm not even gonna look at what might or might not happen in future.

Reply to less confused
Posted by: sweetcakes | 2004/12/03

16 is a very confusing time... i went through alot of guys when i was that age (i got bored of them too), there was a guy that i went out with, i really liked him but i didn't want to be with him, two and a half years later we got back together and we still together, the point is she's still young and she might want to experience more, than just get into a relationship, maybe when she realises how she really feels about you(how strong her feelings are), she'lll come around, just give it time, in the mean time just carry on being good friends, after all you wouldn't want to lose her as a friend!
good luck!

Reply to sweetcakes
Posted by: Kay | 2004/12/03

You need some perspective here - she is 16!!!! 16! dare I say it again...16!

As an adult (hopefully) you should know better - specially if you were hurt at the same age and control yourself.

Reply to Kay

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