Posted by: Kate | 2009/01/26

Best age to discuss sex with girl child

Dear Dr
Can you please advice at what age is most approporiate to advice or discuss matters that relates to sex with a girl child, my daughter is 10 years of age, but most of the time she watches tv, and I am worried if is necessary to discuss matters like that where by two people get sexually active or just to ignore her. Last week I bought groceries and box of condoms was part of that, while I busy upacking it and moving other staff to my room, she found the box of condoms in the toiletries in my bedroom and stripped it to check inside, when I asked her, she refused to know anything about touching it. I just think she knows very well about sex and that worries me. I actually thought she is still young to notice that box.

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Our expert says:
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Like Just Me, I think the time to do so is whenever they ask any questions about it, tailoring your replies to their age and understanding. Scenes on TV can be an excellent opportunity to op[en discussion abou such issues ( chat about other things which turn up on TV< too, so as not to make this stand out peculiarly ) ; and ask what she already knows and understands about things like condoms --- very few kids know nothing, but many know much that is inaccurate, based on what they have heard from other kids and what they have tried to figure out for themselves. Its importamnt not to aim at one single Big Event : "The Talk !" but on opening a contin uing discussion in which zhe feels comfortable and confident to ask you about anything that puzzles or worries her

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Our users say:
Posted by: C | 2009/01/26

From my own experience, I would also say when they start asking questions or talk about things they have heard at school. I had the " talk"  with my daughter when she was approx 10. She is 14 now and we still discuss sex issues as and when it come up. I still invite her to discuss anything. Very important: make sure the communication channels between you and your daughter are always open. You wont believe what they hear at school. Better to hear the true version from her mother!

Reply to C
Posted by: Just Me | 2009/01/26

I think the best time to chat with kids about such things is when they start asking funny questions.

I remember being 9 and asking my mom " what age do you fall pregnant"  thinking it was miraculous conception. I was a bit horrified but I think it was a good age, considering most children find out from other children, its good to know its coming from you and not them.

Trust your instincts mom.

Reply to Just Me

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