Our expert says:
They are indeed far too young to legally guve consent for such disfigurement, and I suspwect that as the parents are separated or divorced, the consent of BOTH parents would be needed. And what a seedy gift for any parent to give a child ! Sounds like she's desperate to curry favour with them, and be a friend. The best mom I know nowadays tells her kids : "I am not your friend. I am much better than that, I am your mother".
Its sad, too, when kids are encouraged to devalue childhood, and encouraged to race ahead into adult bad habits - they'll be adults, in good time, for a great many years. And skipping some of childhood, we end up with many very childish "adults". Pity the biomom isn't apparently more interested in their schoolwork - they're not likely to get a job is they have a belly ring rather than matric.
Romany is jumping to conclusions in assuming that the biomom must be the legal guardian. What degree of say you have here, apart from trying to have a good influence, depends on such issues as who is the legal guardian, whether the father or mother have or share custody, etc.
Similarly, I don't afree with Romany's apparent assumption that its fine because "all her friends have them" - she seems, wisely, to have reservations about tattos. If all her friends use heroin, should one agree that your child can do so, too ? If not, why not ? And how do you decide which indulgence falls into acceptable and non-acceptable categories ?
But rather than forbidding or applauding such requests to copy other kids, any good parent should use this as an opportunity to teach good decision-making, talking through with the child the advantages and disadvantages of whatever they're so keen on. A reasoned objection has a better chance of registering with a child than simply forbidding it.
Maybe some couples counselling sessions for you and biodad would help sort out your relationship and to work out the best way to jointly handle such challenges.
I have visions, in decades to come, of Old Age Homes full of demented old folks, dreeping round on walking frames, covered with tattooes ( have youngsters thought of what tattoos will look like when their skin begins to wrinkle and sag ? ) and jangling with metal rings and studs in every avaialable piece of flesh.
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