Our expert says:
Lets clarify the issue. When people argue that they are not alcoholic, they usually are. The word Alcoholic causes problems through triggering a set of excuses and denials. If he behaves as you describe, he IS a problem drinker / has a substance abuse problem. There are many patterns of alcohol abuse.
But if your drinking or substance use causes problems in your work, or personal relationships, there IS a problem which needs to be dealt with.
The next issue is that although often a problem drinker causes difficulties and worries for other people, they often deny it themselves and refuse to get the help they so obviously need. and you can't do it for them.
ONLY if and when they accept that they have a drinking ( or substance abuse ) problem and that they need help with it, can they be helped. Sometimes they have to create crises and more severe problems before they face these facts.
Of course there can be various aspects of his childhood or earlier life that are relevant to why he drinks, and they may need to be dealt with in time. But they're impossible to help while he is drinking. Only when he stops drinking, with help from a relevant expert to enable him to stay stopped, has he a hope of getting this and related things right
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