Posted by: Coleen | 2009/09/08

Being used?

I have been in this relationship with a very loving and caring guy for almost 4 years now, most of the time boyfriend who is self employed had no work, and I had to provide.
Lately his work has picked up and he employed another guy. Now they spend day and night and over weekends working together and he visits this guy and his wife alone for dinners and braais.
Am I stupid to feel neglected and used? Boyfriend says I am and don' t understand that he has to work and that the other guys wife doesn' t mind him working all the time, because they need the income, and I will never understand because I have the security of a regular job, house and car.
Do you think there is a future for this relationship?

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Our expert says:
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Its very understandable that you feel that way, even if that is not his intention. Maybe he has felt lonely and inadequate being out of work for so long, and va,.ues the companionship of a co-worker --- but there's no reason why he couldn't take yopu along whevisiting this other guy and his wife. One can understand his pleasure in and priority given to his work, but that does not include the braai's at the other guys home, which need not be done so as to excluse you. Have you comnsidered some marriage counselling for the pair of you ?

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