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Question
Posted by: Kay | 2007/06/19

Being Threatened

I broke up with my boyfriend recently because of problems we were having . When I dumped him, he immediately responded to me by email threatening to kill me or kill us both. He then sent smses and phoned me to tell me he was going to kill me. He even phoned a mutual friend to tell her he was going to kill me. I then layed charges against him.

Now he says the whole thing was a joke, he just meant to scare but he did not mean to kill me.

I found the whole experience terrifying to say the least. I was afraid to leave my house but then I was even afraid to stay in side.

He has never done anything violent to me although he has threatened to beat me up several times, which he never did.

He has also threatened to kill me or kill just himself before.

Please advise, am I beign paranoid here ? I dont think I am but now he is making it as if I should know him better than he is not capable of such thing but im not too sure. Surely if someone says something like that to you , they are capable of doing or am I wrong in thinking that ? also I dont understand how a person says such a terrible thing to another person.

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Our expert says:
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Congratulations on having laid criminal charges against him --- nobody is allowed to or justified in, threatening to kill someone else. And such threats are NEVER any form of joke. Don't believe him when he says he isnt capable of harming you --- in the cemetaries lie buried many people who wwere killed by someone who insisted they were inapable of harming anyone. Have the police and courts proceed with charges, and urgently ask the court for an interdict forbiding him from any further threats and from contacting or approaching you in any way. Such men are dangerous and it is dangerous to take any chances about them.
Keep copies of any and all SMS and emials received from him including any form of threat, and give copies of these to a safe and eliable friend AND to the police.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kay | 2007/06/20

You are now really scaring me.



I did go to the police with the emails and smses and they opened a case against him for intimidation. They even arrested him , he spend a few hours in jail.

he phoned me in tears begging me for forgiveness.

I still feel he does not think he did anything wrong, I thin khe was just apoligising so that I close the case against him.

Reply to Kay
Posted by: Joy | 2007/06/20

Hi no dear..these things REALLY happen..my friend died because of her ex boyfriend..he actually went to pick her up and drove the both of them into a truck at very high speed. He just said he just wants to talk a bit and said she should get into the car..then he drove off with her knowing what his intentions were.

Reply to Joy
Posted by: at | 2007/06/20

at least he wrote his threats on emails- take these to the police- it is evidence- get your friend to go with as witness. Dont take these things lightly. nobody jokes about things like that nor do they go so far as to send sms, emails and call up friends to make threats. At least get a protection order or something to prevent him approaching you.

Reply to at
Posted by: Haylee | 2007/06/19

You are defnitely not paranoid. These things happen every day. I dont want to frighten you, but it's facts.

What did the police do to help you?
Can you possible obtain an interdict?
What is your relationship with him at this point?
Age?

I am interested, and would like to extend advice if possible.
Please reply

Reply to Haylee

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