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Question
Posted by: Cindy | 2004/12/05

being married and verbally abused

Hi, how should i start, yesterday we were 5 years married&hub's birthday. Hub is 8 years older than me. I am also pregnant with our first child. I got him realy nice gift package for birthday and for aniversary. Made somethings sweet to eat, eg cup cakes! I got very nice flowers, but Yesterday going through a raid of blames, accuses and being told how pathetic i am and how i was brought up. How i don't like his parents. How my catering is up to scrap.Crying over this over again and feeling so helpless and whatever i say get's turn around...it was like talking to a brick wall . That was just IT. Why should i eat this crap. IS this the way he sees me, is this the way to treat someone you supposedly looove. Is this child is going to go through this. A person just don't say nice things if the mind does not think nice things. I am very unhappy with what has been going on lately, how i am treated, and how he constantly visit his parents each day and phoning them doing chores for him, car for washing, clothing to be washed, fetching of the dogs at home etc. When we should go out for dinner(anniversary) he wanted again to take his parents with. ( i just thought it would be best for taking them out on a later stage). This isn't right, the whole son and parent relationship is too smoochie!, am i just being taken for a sucker!

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Our expert says:
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Gosh, Cindy, what a nasty package for your anniversary ! Marriage counselling would help, if he would agree to sincerely take part in it. Otherwise, som counselling for you yourself, to buiild up your strengths and to evaluate your options. Sounds like he is still too immature, too much married to his parents, and not really ready yet for a mature adult relationship with an adult woman. Whether it's fruitful to remain with him may depend on whether he is prepared to recognize that anything here is amiss, and to work towards slving the problems, or if he just wants to keep things as they are, just because it seems to suit him.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: KVHM | 2004/12/06

Its a pity a child is on the way. Verbal abuse scars u 4 life, even if u can go 4 counselling. Been there. He doesnt deserve u. Nothing hurts like doing everything 2 make yr partner happy & he does the opposite & u r always miserable & wait 4 next time he gets into 1 of his moods. Be4 u give up though, talk to him & tell him how u really feel & how it affects yr marriage.

Reply to KVHM
Posted by: Cindiy | 2004/12/05

Thank you.

Reply to Cindiy

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