Posted by: Confused | 2007/03/05

Behind closed doors

Dear Cybershrink
I don't know where to post this and I really need help and you have helped me in the past. This is not something I can discuss with anyone, not even my therapist. I don't know if you can tell me why this is happening to me as i am finding it a bit scary as i don't know where it is going. I am involved in a sort of a relationship with a man from out of town who i have very strong physical and emotional bond with. i know we connect on my dark side however as behind closed doors we are experimenting with a lot of taboo things (no one or nothing is being harmed - it is just the two of us) but we are taking this physical connection to a different level i have never had with anyone. .I find that i am fantasising more and more about him being domoinatinbg and me submissive as well as him treating me badly on the bedroom (treating and talking to me like i am inferior and also being phsyically harsh with me). it is someting that i have almost steered our relationship towards. outside the bedroom it is different and we are normal. i am just scared of this side of me that wants to be humiliated and treated like this in the bedroom. please doctor, i don't know who to turn to as i am too embarrassed to talk to anyone else about these fantasies of mine that have become a reality. why do i want this. what is wrong with me? is there something wrong with me? i am just scared that we are going to dark places and because there is no one i can speak to i dont know if it is ok or not, is there a sick part inside of me that is craving this humiliation? I am sorry to bother you but it is freaking me out a bit.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This could be part of the usual range of sexual expressions, as sado-masochism, but could easily become more dangerous. It'd be wise for you to see a good local counsellor to explore and understand this better before you get into very deep waters. Don't be embarrassed --- its not something to chat about at Reception at your office, but it IS something you can discuss in detail and confidentially, with your shrink, and that's what I would advise, very strongly. As SR says, this could be related to previous sexual or other experiences and relationships, but this can only usefully be explored within therapy

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Confused | 2007/03/06

Thanks SR x

Reply to Confused
Posted by: SR | 2007/03/06

I'm no expert but having this role play turns you on and thats why you crave it as it hightens your sexual arousal when he does these things to you. Role play of this nature is common where couples feel comfortable to experiment like this. Sometimes men too want to be dominated. You could also post under the sexual forum and enquire about BDSM

On the other hand it could have bearing on previous experiences maybe in your childhood and if this is the case maybe you should post this on the sexual abuse forum as I'm sure the peer group could assist you

Reply to SR

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