Posted by: change | 2009/03/12


I work with abused, abandoned, neglected children and most of these children have prior to coming to us received little or perhaps no discipline- we are struggling with teaching these children that unacceptable behaviour elicits consequeces, but it seems that no matter what hardship consequences we punish the children with it does not work because their previous life was much more difficult than any hardship we could give them. for example we had a 15year old girl that was not making her bed or changing her linen or sleeping on sheets just directly on the mattress even when we explained why we wanted her to sleep between the sheets because it was easier &  cheaper to wash or replace sheets than blankets or mattress &  so as a punishment we said she had to sleep on the (carpeted) floor but it had no effect on her because she had been sleeping in worse places than that and if fact the floor was a lot better than the hard concrete floors she had slept on in the past.
how can we punish we do not hit any children.
thank you

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Our expert says:
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They have usually met plenty of hardship earlier in life, and have esentially learened that it doesn't matter what you do, you get punished anyway, so you might as well do as much as you can get away with. Why are you so fixated on punishment ? Work on rewards. A scale of increasing rewards for doing what is expected, and loss of or reduction of rewards when they fail

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