Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/07

Bedtime Story

CS and Pals.

I think by now u have noticed that my marriage is at a critical stage. I also hope that u have concluded that I am deeply unhappy. I am insecure at this stage, as I do not really know what I want. I try to hide this, and to survive everyday by working hard and seeing the funny side of other people’s comments, events and jokes, but learned these past few months to also relate to the sufferings and unhappiness I see on this forum. I also learned that there are people who have wisdom and who do not hesitate to share their experiences, who absolutely care. Tks for that!!!!!! BUT I think at this stage I feel the need to look someone in the face when I talk and to feel the caring.

I do not want to make this post too long, but I need to share some of what I believe and would like to hear your comments.

Should I go for counseling on my own and if so any suggestions.

CS, do you think I can ask my German Sheppard to read a bedtime story to my wife and I?(Not LoL)

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Our expert says:
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Jakes, it's really hard to think of any down-side to going for counselling. At worst, maybe the first counsellor one visits just doesn't "fit" with one, and we need to try another. You can make the proces meaningful and important for you

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Our users say:
Posted by: ZeeZee | 2005/12/08

Goeie more Jakes

Weet jy wat die son gaan weer vir jou skyn want jy werk regtig hard daaraan om beter te voel en jy "deal" met jou emosies en begrawe dit nie en dis alklaar 'n goeie begin. My man is 3 jaar terug dood en die pyn hartseer en depressie wat ek gehad het kon ek nie aan jou beskryf nie... Die emosie wat ek deurgegaan het was eindeloos. Jy het woede teenoor daardie persoon want hoe kon hy jou los en jy moet verder met alles alleen cope. Jy het soveel selfverwyt...As ek nie my so gou gewip het nie....hoekom het ek vir hom goed gese wat ek nie bedoel het nie...die lys is eindeloos Jy word kwaad vir jouself want jy wil nie so voel nie jy wil nie heeltyd hartseer kwaad en depressief wees nie, Jy voer die heeltyd 'n innerlike stryd met jouself. Jy word in die oggende wakker en wonder hoe gaan jy hierdie misrabele dag omkry. 'n Mens moet deur al hierdie emosies gaan of jy wil of nie....en eendag word jy wakker en jy het nie meer daardie swaargevoel nie jy is nie meer kwaad nie jy is nie meer so hartseer nie. Jy begin weer lag en gesels jy begin weer die dinge doen waarvoor jy nie kans gesien het nie....JY BEGIN WEER LEWE. Gee jouself tyd om al hierdie emosies te verwerk daar is nie 'n "quik fix" nie dit gebeur alles met tyd en ons raak ongeduldig want ons wil he dit moet dadelik gebeur. Tyd liewe Jakes heel alle wonde. My hart gaan so uit na jou want ek kan my net indink waardeur jy gaan. Baie sterkte vir jou en jy sal daar deurkom jy sal sien....

Reply to ZeeZee
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/08

Morning Starshine(s) - alone even with her there, yes. Lonely last night - not really (Tks Dotty). Feeling low - most of the time.

Thanks for the kiss

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Frusty | 2005/12/07

Hi Jakes, you feeling a bit low tonight then? It is my turn to send you a hug. (((HUG|))). Can't stay on long, just stopped in to see some of CS's replies. Here's a big kiss for you too. MWAAA!

Reply to Frusty
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/07

not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing for you.... it can be either depending on how you feel! Hopefully, you are alone, but not too lonely tonight. I'm also alone tonight. My partner is in Cape Town ......... he will be home on Friday though. We've been chatting online for fun......... we met on the internet and so it's been like old times :)

Reply to ...
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/07

Tks .... Am alone tonight - boys with g/friends and wife with her mother in Pta.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: ... | 2005/12/07

Hi Jakes.... you are right... this forum is a wonderful place and can give lots of encouragement and wisdom... but it's not a substitute for good counselling at all.
I think you would benefit alot from counselling - on your own... it will help in many ways... firstly just to talk about things helps alot... but more importantly, when you talk things through with a therapist they can help you get to grips with what is hindering you from moving forward... and help you gain clarity of thought... living the way you do, with that constant reminder of what has gone wrong, and not knowing what your future holds is burdensome.... I think you can only benefit from therapy...

I've been in and out of therapy since I was 16 ... and I tell you, that if it wasn't for these wonderful people (most of the anyhow)... I might be dead today! So, I am a big advocate of therapy.

When I've had to make choices in my life, sometimes not even as crucial as the one you have to make, I have gotten stuck... and almost paralysed with fear.... the therapy helped me put things into perspective everytime.....

Try it... you have nothing to lose!! ..............

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