Posted by: Julia | 2013/01/21

Bed wetting

My grandson is 4 yrs and 4 months. He slept without a nappy since he was 2 and a half years. Last year his parents got divorced and they have shared custody. One week with the father and one with the mother. December they had them for 3 weeks each. Since he came back from his mother, he is constantly wetting the bed. He told us that his mother and grandmother put him in nappies during his stay there. How do we handle this situation? I feel that it is not good for his mental development to be put back in diapers with his little brother of 2, (who is also only having a diaper during night time) since he was used to get up by himself at night to go to the toilet. What went wrong??? He is a very happy little boy when he is on the farm with his father. From what we heard his mother is constantly having new boyfriends. Can this be the cause or is it the long time he was away from his dad? Your expert opinion will be much appreciated. Thank you.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Presumably they put him in nappies because he was wetting the bed, rather than without obvious reason ? Its quite common for a child who is emotionally upset by something happening in his life, to slip back a stage in their achievement of goals like toilet training. Is there anything apparent that might hav e upset him during this particular stay ? Has someone talked with the mom and grandmom, about what they noticed ?
Maybe there's a new boyfriend and this in some way upset him ; maybe he was missing his dad due to the longer stay. Spoken to gently, what does the boy himself say about how he felt ?
Maria correctly outlines the best way to handle a resumption of bedwetting, rather than the more discouraging replacement of nappies.
As Anon says, routine is very important to kids and changing this, for whatever reason, often upsets them, though fortunately, not usually for long.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2013/01/21

This is really sad. How on earth could anybody think that it is good for any child to be one week in one household and then one week in another?! I thought that children were supposed to be put first during divorce and this selfish decision is was definitely not in the best interest for any child

I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. I know how inportant their routine is to them and how it upsets them when they are out of their environment? How do a young child bond with a parent who are not constantly part of his life? Those children must be so confused - being subjected to different households, different routines, different rules, different rooms and different caregiving people every week! Who made this stupid decision?

Yes, I agree, both parents must play a part in the childs life, both should have access to the children and they must have an opportunity to bond, but a young child cannot live two lives succesfully. This is not fair to the kids and you will have loads of problems in the future as well.

Putting the kid in nappies is not going to solve the problem - it will make it worse. These children need stability and one set of boundaries and rules. Visiting the other parent for a weekend or an afternoon is ok, but there must be ONE home, with ONE set of rules and ONE main care giving person.

I suggest someone go back to the court and get this decision reviewed. It cannot be good for the kids.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Maria | 2013/01/21

It sounds as if he might not have felt secure and safe with his mother. I don''t believe putting him back into nappies is the answer. Rather restrict his drinking a couple of hours before bedtime, and take him to the toilet before you go to sleep. You could also try a reward chart where he gets as sticker every time he wakes up dry.

Reply to Maria

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.