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Posted by: Clueless. | 2006/04/20

Becoming Clued-Up.

I am sick of these battered girls writing "what should I do?" And then tell this horid, gutwrenching tale of deceit and abuse. Then want to know what should they do. Girls, you don't need an answer on what, but on how. You know you should leave or as CS says get counseling as a couple. Ask then how! The way you girls portray yourselfes makes all women look stupid and weak. Since there are so many of you. Start by what's really inside, and ask how must I go about leaving him, or get him straight, or anternatively just say that you just need someone else to be aware of what you're going through, and give support. Stop disgracing us.
That said, I'm finally truly quitting pot. My husband got too concerned and asked some interesting retorical questions. I promised him I would, and I never turn aroud once I said promise. So, this is it. I'm leaving a LIFE behind. The only one I know now. And I know it won't help to be scared, cause it is going to happen regardless, I rather focus on coping skills. As I go. I'm currently on my last 'trip?'. In this state I'm horrified.
Another thing, my doc will increase my meds depending on the outcome of the blood tests. O, and I trust him now. Something he said. That sort of busts my theory on the psycho. You will never know how relieved that makes me. I could never start afresh with any other psychologist.
Basically I'm saying that some rather hectic things is gonna happen during the following weeks / months??, and (since, during the past couple hours, I've seen how bad things had become, and can point out the lies I accepted as truth) I would prefer to detach myself from you too, since you are such a big part of my life, as it is now.
I must change. Now. I will again make contact when I am stabilised and hopefully happy.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi CLueless,
As you notice, in abuse situations or in most others, there can be a world of diference betwen knowing what you ought to do, and actually doing it.
And you seem, I hope, to be taking one of those steps of doing what you know you need and ought to do, in giving up the pot. Sounds like you're taking a number of positive decisions and steps, which is excellent. It'll be hard work, but worthwhile. GOod luck with making the changes --- we look forward to hearing from you as and when things have settled down. Dittohead seems confused on one very important point --- in anyone with psych problems, especally some of those you have had, pot is very clearly a continuing risk factor and does increase the chronicity and seriousness of the problems. Some people do seem to be able to handle it, in moderation, without problems ( except that it's dirtier and has more of the same health problems as smoking cigarettes ) ; but once we have discovered that we are among the vulnerable folks who experience problems with it, we are much better off without it. Just as small amounts of alcohol can improve our health, but once we are alcoholic and/or have active liver disease, it has no health advantages and many health hazards.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: me | 2006/04/20

hi clueless

u surely are clueless about abuse and the effect that it can have on women. why has it been so difficult for u to leave pot, yet you find it difficult to understand why abused woman cant leave abusive relationships. you never walked that road, so be careful on what you say. i also dont understand people who just cant leave pot, even when they know that its bad for them, but... who am i to jugde them??

have a lovely pot free day!!

Reply to me
Posted by: Dude | 2006/04/20

ey,

see u makin a change from today, that uz lookin 2 a new horizon above the clouds of sweetness, detachment in part now reattachment wif em new an wonnerful copin skills... speak ur mind babe an best of luck

cheers
Dude

Reply to Dude
Posted by: lady nina | 2006/04/20

hi there

i understand your frustration but unless you walk the road you are not qualified to make any statements -sure you can have your opion but it's based on your life and who you are
and for that reason very narrowminded

count yourself lucky that you are not one of us

nina

Reply to lady nina
Posted by: Jakes | 2006/04/20

A drug is a drug is a drug is a drug.
Cigarettes
Cannabis
Alcohol
All of it

If someone feel s he/she has to quit - good. If prodding by a loved one helps the process - better

I do not think anybody who wants to quit needs the kind of negativity as spewed by Dittohead.

Sorry - but it is upsetting

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Anon | 2006/04/20

Perhaps part of the answer in recovery from substance abuse lies in replacing it with another activity, dittohead here gives an eg exercise routine or something you can really enjoy that is ultimately not destructive in any way to your body, your life, your family. Great to hear your progress with your Psychiatrist. Wishing you well Clueless.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Dittohead | 2006/04/20

Once again you put across some wise words Semi-clued up?
Remember that a lot of the time women get confused and feel guilty for what he has done rather than seeing the reality that it is her man's fault. It is too often the women's problem and not the man's.
If you leave POT behind are leaving a LIFE behind? Or maybe I am confused here? Marijuana is so great and it's better than alcohol and doesnt kill as many people as alcohol so I really want to know why you're husband wants you to quit. What for?
It is stronger than cigarettes and quickly tars up your lungs but it smells so good. I sound like the devil here pushing you to maybe stay with it, but I dont see what's really wrong with it. It's great to relax and unwind. But will mess up your gym routine if you have one and wont help you in any sports.
Yeah, maybe if you wanna quit the dube get into a sport to keep your mind off the stuff and into something really good for you and actually more relaxing. Just an idea. Have fun!

Reply to Dittohead

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