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Question
Posted by: jenni | 2007/06/04

beating boyfriend

I have a problem. Whenever my boyfriend really hurts and upset me i loose myself and just slap him without thinking. The last time i did it, he told me it is over between us and that his nose was bleeding. His ear also started to pain, I didn't hit him that hard but it turns out that i did. How do i stop this? Why am i doing this? This is definately not me and i want to stop. What can i do to overcome this? Any help will be appreciated alot
thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

See a counsellor and deal with anger management and finding more constructive ways to deal with annoyance and anger . YOu are doing it because you allow your anger to flare up, and don't seem at present to be able to think of better wany of handling the situation --- Joy's suggestiosn are worth considering. And counselling could also help you to review and reconsider this relationship, and whether it is good for either of you. But deal with the more general problem as well, or there's a real risk you might repeat this problem with someone else.
What you are doing is abusive, and abuse is not justifiable.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: RMC | 2007/06/04

if you get that mad you have a problem. How are you going to handle a baby that wont stop crying.

You need to get help. Fast!

Reply to RMC
Posted by: Dreamgal | 2007/06/04

hi jenni

Ive been in that situation i can relate to your story cos my boyfriend makes me so cross that i just loose my temper.Im not a violent person and i would neva hurt some1 but when it use to come to him i wanted to strangle him and make understand what he has done and that its hurting me so i use just hit me.Well at the time i use to feel good but after eish the guilt use to kill me inside so now i try to control my anger or i will simply walk away.

I think u should go 4 councelling cos thats what i did and im glad to say that i married and controlling my temper.

hope this helps u keep in touch
If u want to talk email me nicole _naidu AT YAHOODOTCOM


Reply to Dreamgal
Posted by: LOL | 2007/06/04

I think respect is not the issue - Even if I don't respect someone that doesn't mean that I would end up physically attacking the person.

I think the problem is with Jenny - irrespective what the man brings out in her.. there is no excuse for hitting him.
Ladies I think if it was reversed roles and the man was hitting Jenny we'd all be saying that there is no excuse for hitting a woman irrespective of how she behaved. We would all be screaming at the top of our lungs that Violence against women is not on.

I think we need to see abuse for what it is... which is that it IS WRONG irrespective who is on the receiving end.

That's my opinion

Reply to LOL
Posted by: Echelle | 2007/06/04

The reason why you're doing it - you don't have enough respect for him, so he's not the man for you... If it was a man you had a lot of respect for then you wouldn't have done that...

Reply to Echelle
Posted by: Joy | 2007/06/04

If this is something you wouldnt normally do, then maybe this man is just not good for you. He's obviously upsettting you to the point where you dont even recognize yourself. I'm not in any way trying to justify your actions! Your hitting him is unacceptable and wrong. You need to seek professional help ASAP and learn to discuss your issues with your boyfriend in a calm, relaxed manner, either that, or walk away.
Learning to control your temper is very, very difficult when you're all worked up but you have to take baby steps. Breath deeply, calm yourself, count to 10..you know the drill..just take each situation as it comes and with time you'll be more and more assertive in your reaction to conflict situations.

Reply to Joy
Posted by: LOL | 2007/06/04

Jenni.. at least you on the right path.. admitting you have a problem.

The rest I think you have to get professional help for. Maybe you got repressed anger/issues hence the violent outbursts.

I'm not an expert on this so I can't tell you why you are doing this, however I can tell you its wrong to inflict physical abuse on any person. That is something you have to seek immediate help for.

Good luck

Reply to LOL

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