Posted by: ndina | 2007/07/26

battling to move on

My husband divorced me last year.We had our share of problems,but his main problem was that I was unhappy.I had reason to be.He always had these women in his life he called"friends".I got to be very insecure to such a point were I staryed searching his phone,and yes found the proof that my suspicions were founded.He is now seeng a woman who we always fought about,although he denied having an affair with her back then.THE FAMILY KNOWS HER NOW AND I'M LEFT OUT IN THE COLD WITH MY BABY.ITS HURTS.she knows everything about me,from them and him.I was shocked when she told me about my divorce proceedings.I feel so hurt to now know that he left my son and me for her,gave up our house,gave up a chance to raise and be there for our son for her.I cant stand the sight of him,I feel so angry when i SEE HIM.I just cant get over this pain he caused me,

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Our expert says:
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Its very understandable that you feel hurt, sad, and angry. Arrange to see a good local counsellor, maybe through FAMSA< to work on getting through this more effectively.

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Our users say:
Posted by: HKY | 2007/07/26

Ndina, I found myself 2 years ago in the same situation, I found out about my wife having a so called "friendship" with a guy at work, when his wife called me to tell me what was going on. Of course she denied this and a few months later told me she was filing for divorce, as it turned out the " friend" was doing the same. It broke me completely as we had issues that needed to be dealt with but nothing that could not be worked out, I was devastated and so was my son who was 8 at the time. It has been very hard to deal with, but know that it does slowly start getting better, live for yourself and your child, spend as much time with people who care about you and love you. Know that it was not you that was unfaithful to your marriage and the vows you made to each other. Time will heal our wounds but for some of us it may take longer than others. We may never understand why this has happened to us, but it has and we must find the strength to move on and build our lives over, and do the best we can for ourselves and our children. My ex has already found out that this "friend" is not who she thought he would be. As the sayings go " the grass is not always greener on the other side" and "what goes around comes around" fits her current situation with her "friend".
Ndina even though it is really tough now and seems impossible, have faith be strong and believe that your situation will get better, Some of us are at the same point in our lives as you so know that you are not alone. Hold your head high because you are worth it

Reply to HKY
Posted by: i am with u | 2007/07/26

totally agree with Kristen, i am sure all of us have been thru hurt aches at some point in our lives and have dealt with it in different ways but the best way is mourn, cry, talk to people (close friends, family and even a stranger) as long as you have poured out your heart to somebody who can somehow relate and symphathise with you,, you need to be proud of yourself and always remember that your life does not rotate or depend on any man who will not return your feelings... think about your son, be strong for his sake,,, you guys will make it thru this without that man in your lives, he is not worth it,,, i made it so can you.. i have a 3yr old and we doing just fine without him, i have found myself someone who has accepted both my son and i in his life and he doesn't have a baby yet,,, so u see there is life after a heart ache but sometimes it take a heart ache to realise that,,, pls do me a favor, i may not know you or even see you but pls smile for me after reading this because it's a start of healing,, i am definately smiling back at you and holding your hand thru this... no man is worth your tears...

Reply to i am with u
Posted by: Kristen | 2007/07/26

Dear ndina i found some incrimanating stuff on my bf phone 2 weeks ago and last week we decided to call it a day. I spent the whole week crying for every little thing that reminded me of him, it was devastating and the pain was very much physical as emotional. I though I'd never get over it - I have'nt. but my family and close friends have been my strength through it all. Invest your time in people u love and the things u love doing.Give urself time to mourn and go through the different stages get it over with, get him out of ur system. When u do meet Mr. Right u will be able to love completely and whole heartedly, without reservation. Take care and remember ur familys'love and the love u share with ur child.

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