Our expert says:
Why did you feel that he dad cheating on her mom was actually any of your business, let alone to feel able to complain that she had not told you about that ?
Obviously this is a sort point for her, and still hurts her. While its fine for you to indicate that whether this or anything else causes her hurt, you'd like to be available to help if you can and if she wants it, pressuring her into telling you all about her personal hurts and concerns is just not appropriate.
It sounds as though she became invoolved with you whan she was far from emotionally free to do so, and while still full of issues about her family and previous boyfriend which she needed to work through. Clearly she is still very much attached to her father, maybe excessively so.
I appreciate and commend your sympathy and your desire to help her, but this sounds fully complex enough to nneed her to be working with a pproperly trained expert specialist psychotherapist / psychologist, and her needs are surely far beyond what even the nicest and most sympathetic guy could do for her.
And the shrink would be neutral, which you cannot be - even if you yourself managed to be utterly neutral, the fact that you are / were a boyfriend would mean she would always be seeing you as such, and not as a source of objective advice.
Be available IF and when she might want to tak with a friendly person later. And if she never does, be prepared to accept that.
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