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Question
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/05/30

Bad thoughts..

I either have a serious insecurity issue or my sixth sense is trying to tell me something..

Every morning for the last 2-3 weeks when I get up in the mornings I have very bad thoughts and feelings about my bf. I think about all the things that does not make sense to me, things he does that irritates me, the fact that I can talk to him about something that's bothering me and then he'll just carry on as if the conversation never happened, I also get the feeling that sometimes he forgets about me..

Also things of the past that still bug me and does not make sense, it's driving me crazy...we have been trying to rebuild the trust lost in our relationship due to his untrustworthyness (not just by means of other women), and everytime he does something that I would see as him stepping over the boundaries again, he wants to break it off, his reason being that he cannot stand being falsely accused and is trying his best.

I don't want to lose him (I think) and I'm trying my utmost to be different and to think before I react..but why the negative thoughts?..I literally get angry with him every morning and feel like ignoring him for the rest of the day even before I've seen him or spoken to him..

Anyone experienced this? What does it mean?

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Our expert says:
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If you want the relationship to continue, relationship counselling could help. Or if you want it to end, then move on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/05/30

It's up to you to decide whether you can get over something or not. It's not like you don't have a choice. You have to decide whether you're going to let it go, and move forward or not.

Relationship counselling can be very helpful, because so often couples misread the others behaviour. You see him as not caring or ignoring you, and in the mean time, what is really happening is that he is feeling really bad about what happened, and everytime you bring it up, he feels bad about himself. He doesn't know what more to do or say, or how to make it right - so he withdraws.

He sees you as not being able to forgive him, and feels like you will always bring up the past, but maybe you can really forgive him, but there is just something that he needs to do that will make you more secure - and he just hasn't understood exactly what that is.

Relationship counselling can help bring out all these differing way of seeing things, and helps you get to an understanding about what the other person needs, and expects, and how to work around that.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Blondie.. | 2007/05/30

There are just some things that I don't think I'll be able to get over, and him not understanding, avoiding, ignoring me (tough he says he doesn't) does not help..it's only a matter of time I guess..

That would be a shame, we have always, so passionately found our way back to each other, but I guess love is not enough.

Reply to Blondie..
Posted by: Chelle | 2007/05/30

The bad thoughts and feelings are a pent up feelings about issues that you have faced in the past, and haven't really resolved. Whether it's you being overly sensitive, or him not caring, it's hard to say without more information.

Reply to Chelle

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