Our expert says:
Firstly === NO, you are absolutely NOT a bad mother ! And don't feel guilty about having to work. It sounds liek the little fellow has sensed that guilt and is learning to exploit it, helped, without her probably realizing it, by granny who is over-indulging him, as grannies often do. ( grandchildren can be the perfect kids to enjoy --- you can spoil them rotten, and then send them home to have the parents enjoy the consequences of your spoiling. )
I strongly agree with Denise --- this is the time to have a long, cheerful but firm, chat with granny ma-in-law, and explain your policies regarding discipline, and what is and isn't allowed, and how you would like her to help to teach him to keep to YOUR rules. Emphasize her importance in this role, but how essential it is for you both to be keeping to the same rules, rather than to confuse him. And you can mention that this is important to coordinate now, before he goes to nursery school, to mee still other standards. And discuss this with your husband, so that he can support you firmly and enlist his mother's cooperation.
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