Our expert says:
Many children are displaying adolescent behaviour earlier, but to some extent this is dependent on what they are exposed to. Decisions in this regard are often up to parents to monitor, and in this case in both of the homes in which he stays. What would be beneficial if it is possible is for all involved in parenting him to discuss what they feel is appropriate or not, and overall what they feel is best for him at his age. Spending time with older children can inevitably lead to engaging in the activities of older children and adolescents, some of which is not appropriate for a 9 year old as they do not have the emotional maturity to deal with it.
I would recommend that you speak with your husband about meeting with his Mom to try and have consistent boundaries in both homes, ultimately this will be best for him and provide a level of emotional security.
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