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Question
Posted by: anne | 2004/11/25

baby sitting boyfriend

I've noticed lately that my behaviour towards my b/f is...not so nice.We love each other dearly,but I'm not treating him with respect.My dad is abusive and I don't respect him.Could that have anything to do with it?My b/f also doesn't have his drivers licence so I end up doing literally everything.He sais that he has a fear of driving,but I think it's an excuse not to grow up. I want to treat him like the amazing and wonderfull person he is without feeling resentment towards him.I'd rather fix it now than after the wedding:)Any advice?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, sometimes we transfer our attitudes, behaviours and conclusions derived from our interactions with one major person in our life, to our relationship with someone else. So it could be a touch of something like transference. Sounds like you have some basis for the irritation you feel --- if he has a fear of driving ( that's credible, some people do, and considering the homicidal hostility with which many folks drive, it's hardly completely unreasonable as fears go ) --- then he could get treatment for the fear and mopve on to greater independence. So, he's amazing and wonderful, and won't grow up ? Maybe consider some relationshuip counselling, for the pair of you, and sort out all outstanding significant issues before the wedding.

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