baby

Question

Posted by: ramore | 2009/01/15

CS,I' ve bn married for 6yrs I love mu husband he loves me too but the problem with him he doesn' t want to have children.I' ve bn to the gyna took some tests done surgeries but he never took part.he once told me that if I can' t have children is fine by him but you know one need that noise,the will always be that loneliness inside of me even if Ii love him he can' t fill it up

I tried talking to him about adoption but it seems whatever suggestion Ii come up with,I' m just destroying myself or hurting myself more and when my nephews and nieces are there he is just moody or he is never home ,comes homes only late until they leave.I need your help.

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Our expert says:

CyberShrink

OK, so having no children is fine for him ---,but is it fine for him, that it's not fine for you ? And is having children also |fione for him" or does he have some reason for not wanting that ? Is it possible that he feels less manly for not being able to produce a child, buit wopuld prefer to avoid such concerns by insisting that he doesn't want one anyway ? Above all, surely you both deserve to spend some time with a marriage counsellor, to sort out this complex issue and its implications for the rest of your relationship

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Our users say:

Posted by: Lin | 2009/01/15

Didn' t you discuss this before the marriage?
The thing is, although you want a baby, your husband doesn' t want one. You might fall pregnant and then resent your husband for not helping with your baby.
You have to come to a mutual understanding of whether you are going to have children or not.
Maybe see a couples counsellor to help you sort through this.

Reply to Lin