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Posted by: Angelique | 2005/12/09

Awakening

Hi all
I have posted under the name Bi-Confused and FromManToWoman. As from today I will be posting as Angelique. This will be the identity I will change my name to when I have completed my journey from MAN to WOMAN.
Over the last week I had gone thru a serious Awakening. I have come to grips with myself. I have found the true ME - The Lady trapped in a man's body. This is the start of my journey and as such I still have a LOOOOONG way to go. I do realize one thing and that is that this process will affect a lot of people close to me. I realize that at the end I might start my new life over all alone. I do not know what the future holds, but I can tell you one thing - I am going to become ME.
Am I going to need a lot of support? YES for sure, so, will you guys and grls be there for me?
Hope to chat a LOT.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTransgender advisor

Hi Angelique

I think I can really on behalf of everybody at this forum congratulate you, for "finding the real ME" and also welcome you here, and say, yes you will find some support!
You are also right to realise it will be a journey that will affect a lot of people's lifes, none the less you deserve to go on with your journey! Take each step carefull, do a lot of reading / homework, and try to get in contact with like minded people. Tell me about your place of work, family, relationships. You can also feel free to visit Gender DynamiX website, and you will find there a link: contact us - you can mail me inprivate if you wish.

Hope to hear lots more of you here!

Liesl

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Silkgusset | 2006/03/25

Hi
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So why not join the fun on: 082 239 8016

Reply to Silkgusset
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/12

Hi Clio

Just wonderful to hear your story and absolutely fantastic to be able to live your life and have the support of your family.

I also agree that people are on a need to know basis and no need to carry a "label" for who you are and where you been.

Thanks for also being "available" for other to talk to as we need each other more then we care to think.

xxxxx

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Clio | 2005/12/12

Can i just say 'well done'! I have to admit that i have my entire life (and no jokes) looked / talked and acted like a woman...in primary and high school i looked like a girl and nothing i could do changed that. I always liked men, so to me "finding myself" was never an issue, to me that was normal. I told my parents how i felt in my matric year. My parents understood and accepted it (maybe not fully at that time) but now they are so happy that i am living my life

8 years later (and living my life as a woman since leaving school) i admire people like you and take my hat off. Its amazing.

Do what is best for you. I know that for me its different and i think i am truly blessed and one of the lucky ones. I have lived my life as a woman for the last 8 years (since i have 17) and nobody knows about my situation. 95% of my friends dont know and my work doesnt know either, that is how "good and normal" i look.

Angelique, really if you ever need to talk to someone, feel free. I am here as well.

Regards
Cameron (Clio)

Reply to Clio
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09

Thanks Angelique, u have a good weekend too xxxxxxxx

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Angelique | 2005/12/09

Hi TIna
Real thanks for all your input. I do appreciate it very much.
I take your advice to heart.
What I am definitely going to do, is to get more and more in touch with my feminine self - the TRUE me.
I will keep this posted on happenings around me.
Have a fabulous weekend.
A

Reply to Angelique
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09

Angelique I think you need to wait before telling your wife as this time of year is perhaps not the best time to do so. I know this sounds like me back tracking here and in normal circumstances I would have said tell her NOW! THing is she will notice your sudden changes, be it attitude and/or appearance.

I would suggest that before rushing into things you must first meet other TG's and get more information as to how to go about telling ppl and specifically your wife.

Will you look like a natural woman? Well let me ask you this, what does a natural woman look like? When you are in shopping malls or anywhere in public, have a look around and see the diversity when it comes to looks. Some ppl go for looks while others go for the soul and the person behind the looks. It is going to depend more on how you carry yourself, the way you talk not how you sound. It is going to depend on how you appear rather then how you look. Many women today dress rather "sloppy" and should you for example dress to kill, you will stand out and be read that much more easier.

Strange as it may sound, how you look will depend on how you FEEL about yourself. The "dress" would be a mere "make-up" to complete the picture.

As far as attracting men goes, that is another story all together and not an easy one at all. Hopefully we will be able to discuss this face-to-face soon.

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Angelique | 2005/12/09

You know, I feel so different since I came to the realization of who I am. I have not even started taking something yet to start any transformation, but I feel so sexy just wearing panties without anybody knowing. I have even started giving more attention to how I look, the underarm hair is gone, this afternoon I am getting waxed - damn, sure it is going to hurt! I must still find a way of breaking all of this to my wife.
It even feels weird talking about 'My Wife'. It feels so wrong. I have been trying this last week or so to think of myself as a man, but you know, somehow thinking about it make it feels like I am thinking of someone else - does it make sense?
I feel so incomplete - I want to look like a woman, I want to do all the girly things, I want to make a man breathless for wanting me.
Gee, I sound silly- will stop now:-)
Just one more thing, will I look like a natural woman?
Thanks

Reply to Angelique
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09

Hi Angelique

Questions leads to answers which leads to knowledge :) never stop asking .....

I have always been alone all my life too, despite having ppl around me. :( I know that feeling all to well.

Been divorced for a second time and came to terms with myself long after that. Today I have a better friendship with my ex's then when we were married. My kids have accepted me, wasnt easy but they like the new me, even appeared on a TV chat show with me.

I am but winning the Lotto away from my final op. LOL ;) jokes aside, saving for that and hope it will be soon. Meantime I live as a female or rather as MYSELF now 24/7 and much the better for it.

Yes you are welcome to meet up with me anytime as there is a lot to discuss. You will find our group very supportive as most of us know the road you about to take.

LOL ... typical woman yes .... remember women always gather information and share their feelings with each other, we no different and do the same.

xxxx

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Angelique | 2005/12/09

Hi Tina
Whau, this is great. You know, for a long time in my life I felt ALONE. Now, here is someone that has started on her journey of change already - You. Furthermore, I am getting into the same boat as what you are in.
How did your wife react? Is she still with you? How far is your transformation? Can we maybe meet up some time in 2006 - I live in Gauteng - so we can discuss a lot of things?
Gee, sorry about all the questions - typical woman ;-)

Reply to Angelique
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09

Hi Angelique

I hear you and understand all of it. I myself are on that same path, think and feel the same way as you have just said.

THing is that you dont want to burn bridges so you are going to have to go about it very delicately. Stay firm in holding your ground but ensure that you dont severe all contact and relationships. I found it was better to be able to defend myself rather then break all contact and allow ppl to think what they like. By being "around" I could answer questions and explain things and through that, I was able to pass on knowledge which led to understanding and finally acceptance.

This race is like the comrades marathon, the road is long and hard and it is ussually easier for the runner to know there are aquintances along the road to offer a drink of water then having to depend totally on strangers to make that offer.

Lots of talking and lots of analysing to do and the sooner you meet with other like minded ppl, the sooner the picture will become clearer. OUr stories may vary but in the end they are all the same.

Reply to Tina
Posted by: Angelique | 2005/12/09

Hi Tina
I know my marriage will be at an end. For one, I cannot expect my wife to stay with me. It will be like living as a Lesbian couple, won't it? I want to be fully woman with a man in my life whom I can belong to. I want to be happy.
Maybe you will read a lot of the big 'I' in here, but I have come to the realization that I am the most important person to myself. For too long I tried making others happy. For too long I was the one trying to be strong. Everything to my own detriment. I only wish I was born twenty years later in life, than this would be MUCH easier.
Thanks for offering the support - I am sure going to need it.

Reply to Angelique
Posted by: Tina | 2005/12/09

Welcome Angelique xxxxxxx :)

Can I start off by saying, NEVER will you be alone. Never think you are the only one and NEVER feel guilty because of who you are.

Unfortunately you have to give so as to receive and you have to let go and give up certain things in life so as to make changes. The best thing you can give up is living a lie, living unhappy and thus affecting those around you.

Just remember, it is not a foregone conclusion that your wife will turn her back on you. You cannot decide for her but once presented with the facts and understanding, it will be up to her to decide and she may well stick it out with you. We do have a support group for her too.

Yes we always expect the worse and perhaps it is best to always prepare for the worse but it is never as bad as we expect.

The support group is here for YOU, and it will be up to YOU to make use of that.

Like yourself, be proud of yourself and again you will be surprised how ppl accept you.

Welcome once again ANGELIQUE xxxxxxxx

Reply to Tina

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