Posted by: Concerned mom | 2008/11/06

attention seeking child

my daughter age 13 has been coming home very upset after school for past month or more saying one particular girl is turning all her friends against her and calling her horrible names and swears at her.... after enough tears i finally phoned the mother of the other girl who in the end told her daughter to keep her distance from my daughter - just as i told mine. i then found out via parents that my daughter was telling all the children that her dad is touching her in places that she doesnt like... and that apparently, she has been telling lies the whole year and kids dont believe anything she says anymore. i can assure you her dad is totally innocent and we are not sure what we are doing wrong as parents. other parents suggest we get her some help as she is crying out for help.... what must we do?

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Our expert says:
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It would make complete sensee to get her help, and to arrange for her to see a good local child psychologist for full assessment and advice. The child shrink would be best placed to assure you, too, whether her complaints about her father are part of what sounds like a more general pattern of lying and self-dramatizing, or whether there is somethign specific within that allegation to be concerned about.
And as Mom wisely says, whatever is happening, give her more mom - daughter time and activity, so she has more than enough good attention from you

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Our users say:
Posted by: concerned mom | 2008/11/06

sjoe! what a reply from some!! i have had extended conversations with her first &  she assured me that he is not harming her in anyway, it was one particular incident where she felt uncomfortable which she shared with her friends at school and got completely twisted... i am at peace that that is not the case, i am still going ahead with some help... and then i think the first mom, you nailed it in no 2 as i am not spending enough quaility time with her, this is a fact, and must be changed.

Reply to concerned mom
Posted by: Mom | 2008/11/06

Hence me saying make sure that those allegations are false then seek therapy if need be.

In my case he was guilty and his-|-is in jail, this dad might be 100% innocent,

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Strange | 2008/11/06

strange how the father always gets full back up with a story like that, and the child is always the liar and needs therapy.

What makes you so certain that your daughter is lying?

Reply to Strange
Posted by: Mom | 2008/11/06

#1 - make sure he is actually 100% innocent - my husband turned out NOT to be and I was more shocked than anyone else.

#2 - my daughter did the same thing (lies) and it turned out after therapy I was not paying enough attention to her. We began doing Mommy and Daughter things together and the difference in her is remarkable. It could be something as simple or more deep rooted.

Get her to see someone and soon she will start talking and you can help her.

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