Posted by: Halle | 2004/10/13


I have been in an abusive relationship for 2 years now. Yesterday it all ended when I decided to put a protection order agaisnt my boyfriend. I am 29yrs old lady I have been trying to leave this man for over a year now. Yersterday he grabbed me by the throat and I felt that he is going to kill me. He pushed me around like a rag doll for 3 hours and I felf helpless. I tried calling for help but all the nobody seem to care. When he finally left i felt like screaming but there was no voice coming out. I feel empty and used. I need advice on how to get over this since I feel like bursting.

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Our expert says:
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Halle, congratulations on finally standing up for yourself effectively. Keep the protection order in force, and have him arrested if he ever breaks it in any way at all. And call POWA for further advice on getting and keeping free. They can help you to find eefctive counsellign and support groups, with others who have shared this experience.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Empathy | 2004/10/14

As I read your message Halle, I actually feel as if my chest is going to close down on me. I wish I was there, I could take a knuckle duster and do some remodelling of his face, and watch him fumbling on the floor, slipping in his own blood trying to pick up his teeth.
My charming husband introduced me to this vile cowardly treatment, it went on for a few years and I felt paralysed with fear everytime he smacked me. He only ever had to hit once, because I would be incapacitated and desperately try to convince him, between gasping for air, how sorry I was for having an opinion that did not correspond with his almighty ideas on any given subject.
And then my company sponsored some self-defence training, and I was so lucky - I had the perfect subject to practice on... Men will always be stronger than women, but there are ways to get up and smack just once just hard enough in the right place to make a run for it... my 4 year old son in tow. And I returned the day after with a policeman to help me pack my bags because I told them he would try to kill me if he saw I was leaving.
Don't take revenge, just get out and let him wallow in his own misery. Learn enough to stop him for as long as it takes you to get past the door... that's it.
Because it's cowards who hit women, work that weakness and show him in no uncertain terms that you are a force to be reckoned with.
Good luck, I really wish I could give you bionic arms to beat the living daylights out of him.

Reply to Empathy
Posted by: Shirls | 2004/10/13

Sorry about what happened to you. I am glad you have takena step forward and decided to get the protection order against the jerk. Why don't you consider some counselling to get over the trauma of the abuse.

Reply to Shirls
Posted by: Art | 2004/10/13

Halle, sorry to hear you have allowed your self to get into this situation sometimes we live with the hope people will change, and sadly they do not, you need to talk to a counsellor there are previous posting the CS has indicated who he recommends to talk too, in addition it would depend on where you live? but you will need one on one counselling to help you through the trauma, Ii would also have this man locked up if I was you besides a restraining order lay a charge of assault do it Friday morning he will spend the weekend in jail give him some of his own back when he is locked up make his life as much as a living hell as he has made yours there are people out there who will sort him out for you if need be but best bet have him locked up.

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