Posted by: Anon k | 2012/11/07


Hi doc. Am so embarrassed about this and cant talk 2 anyone bout it so need advice feel like im gona go craze thnkn bout it. Here goes... Iv been dating my bf for alm 5yearz till recently he decided to leave sayn it wil make me happier. Anyway during our relationship he was always goin off working at diff places . So use to take pics of me not decent ones sayn dat its all he has to keep me closer to him. Our relationshp ws gud xcept 4 da distance part and dat was the reason he ended it cz of me complaining al da tym of hm nt being around enuf. Neway he ended it in a gud way bt it ws really painful 4me. wats bugging me is wen u hear stories of people putting nude pics of their x gf on da net and stuff xposing them. I ws always self conscious bout it nd use to tawk 2hm bout it nd he wud say he wud neva do dat. But nw dat worries me wat if he does it really buggn me bt we hav no contact nw 2 ask hm bt how do i get my mind of it dat he wont?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If naughty pictures of you are all he could have to keep you feeling close to him, that's not much of a relationship. Had he no happy memories of non-sexual and non-anatomical aspects of the relationship, too ? I guess he didn't feel you needed similar memory aids to remember him by ?
But long-distance relationships are always difficult. And someone who keeps on taking jobs in distant places is not really someone devoted seriously to a relationship with someone he keeps on leaving behind.
And by the way, online we tend to epak actual english rather than the tiwsted forms of textspeak - it makes it far more pleasant for other people to read what you write and want to be helpful.
Did you two never actually spend old-fashioned time physically in the same place ? Wouldn'\t that be the best way to discuss your concerns about what he might do with the pictures ( always a risk, which is why most of us don't send out such pictures. )
Excellent points from Maria and Anon,

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon k | 2012/11/08

We were in a relationship for 5 yearz we talked about the future and i honestly thought we were going to end up together. 2 of the 5 years he was 8 hour drive away from me were i use to see him once a month. I am ashamed of the pics but at the time to i thought atleast his asking me for mine and not going out and looking at other womans pics. We had a wonderful relationship before he started moving around and he was a very good kind hearted person that i know. Guess we just came to a point were we knew it wouldn''t work anymore so i excepted his decision to leave although it was hard and i didnt want it. Even though he was not around i stuck by him and was faithfull and always waited for him i trusted he did the same. But it is a lesson well learned now.

Reply to Anon k
Posted by: Anon k | 2012/11/08

Thanx 4 the good words of advice ''ANON''. Yes lesson well learned actually lessons learned in a lot of things iv never had it easy in my relationships n thats because just as my friends tel me that im to nice a person and easy going meaning i do things to please the other and worry about others happiness than mine (and im not reffering to the pics here). So i have come a long way in life on a bumpy road but im trying to stay strong with this break up but its not easy at all. Thanx 4 urls replies. Oh n gracie and maria sorry but i guess with typing outa a phone u tend to use shorter spellings and words.

Reply to Anon k
Posted by: Gracie | 2012/11/08

Your message is very difficult to read and understand! Nude pics are never a good idea as you don''t know what the recipient''s intentions are!

Reply to Gracie
Posted by: Anon | 2012/11/08

Try and look on the bright side of things, if this guys has generally been mature,polite and respecting of you, he most likely would never consider sharing private photos of you with others. The fact that he ended the relationship in a good way is sign to me that he respects you as a person and cares about your feelings.

It might not make you feel a whole lot beter but there''s such a plethora of pornographic and nude pictures online, if yours ended up on the net they would probably just get lost in the thick of it. Unless your ex points people to it, chances are no one you know will see them.

I''ve lost count of the amount of times I have had to warn my sister that nothing you do on the internet is private! Something to keep in mind before we hit send on any of our new gadgets.
At the end of the day there''s not much you can do except hope that this guys is a gentlemen...Lesson learned? That''s what''s important, we''re all just human, we all make mistakes or bad choices sometimes, all we can do is learn not to repeat the same mistakes, life goes on.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Maria | 2012/11/07

Unfortunately you have no control over what he does. Since you parted on good terms, you could ask him to promise you that he will delete all the images he has of you, but you will never know if he really did that or not. And in future don''t let someone talk you into doing something that you feel really uncomfortable with.

I also just want to say that your message was really difficult to read... please get a spell checker!

Reply to Maria

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