Our expert says:
It seems that your relationship as a whole is going through a very difficult time. Your first step is to repair the foundations of your relationship. This will entail some open communication and the difficult subject of how the closing down of your sexual lives has affected each other. Specifically you may need to find ways of dealing with issues of trust and anger to move beyond the conflict that you describe. If together you are able to commit to improving your situation then there is yet hope. However, you may also need to see a gynaecologist to check that there are no medical causes for your pelvic pain or your diminished libido. You may have an endocrine problem or be depressed. If in a depressed or anxious state its very difficult to open up to sexual expression. It sounds like you have been struggling for many years but do have ‘good times’ that you can try to recapture. Individual therapy for yourself to explore you relationship to your own sexuality, and sexual counseling for you and your partner can open up new possibilities in your sexual relationship. Don’t heisitate to get the help you need. Good luck.
Anthony - SASHA
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