Posted by: matthew | 2004/10/19

Are you angry with me?

"Seriously, it's a bit mischievous for people who ARE already in therapy to raise significant questions here rather than directly with their therapist--- its kinda like infidelity, isn't it ? " - you

Me: And you know what, everybody here does it. What's the problem, so many othere people here are seeing shrinks and talking to you as well. But for me to ask you some questions about my situation is "infidelity"??
Who is she, my freakin girlfriend??
Seriously, what is with the negativity? No, I am not in sessions with her anymore because she's on leave.
It's mischievous for me to try and understand why my shrink would behave in a certain way, and if you can help me understand what she's trying to say or if i should see someone else?
Maybe because she's a shrink like you she's always right??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Exactly, matt, and because everybody hear tends to read each answer, I like to take the opportunities that arise to make general points that can apply to other people as well as the person asking the question. I used the excellent metaphor of "infidelity" because a productive relationship with a shrink / therapist ought to be special, and just as she/he ought not to be chatting to her family and friends about things you discuss with her, so it is better for people to concentrate their discussions into the sessions with their own therapist.
And if she's a shrink like me, then she's most definitely NOT "always right". Nobody is. It's worth striving to become better at recognizing when we're NOT right, so we can vary our methods and approaches.
And don't you think there's a little element of talking about her behind her back, in criticizing her severely here, while she's on leave ? And if I can have any useful function, it might be in raising issues you haven't thought about before, rather than in just being agreeable.
No, I'm not angry with you. Should I be angry ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: matthew | 2004/10/19

Okay, I understand, it just sensed that you had a personal vendetta against me.
Geez, I thought it had pretty good detail. Okay, well, like I said before thanks for giving assistance. I jst was interested in if I do things on purpose maybe and what type of therapy is good for that. I'm confused in my problem I guess. :) I seem to have little work but I just can't do it.
I'll just try a different doc then, thanks friend, enjoy the posts of people not enjoying their sex lives. Ciao.

Reply to matthew
Posted by: matthew | 2004/10/19

Hi NM, other people on this board see shrinks and speak to the cyberdoc, in fact the ones that don't see shrinks get to speak to family and friends as well. I have done this and battled this thing in my mind for years trying to figure out what's wrong with me, I don't need to be weakly accused of infidelity because I'm trying to make things right in some areas of my life.
I know where the cybershrink is coming from and I said that yes there are a lot of people posting here often, so that argument is a dead loss.

Reply to matthew
Posted by: matthew | 2004/10/19

I just wanted to know if it sounds like I have a self hatred or guilt feeling thatmakes me fail on purpose. You are the expert.
It's almost like, before you even read my post you decided to give me a hard time. I'm sorry my first threrad was too long, is that the problem?? I don't understand what I did wrong.

Reply to matthew
Posted by: NM | 2004/10/19

Hi Matthew,

Try to calm down - Cybershrink is only trying to help you. You have to try and understand where he's coming from. When people post here they normally only give a brief description of their problems and yet he still try to offer "help" Your shrink on the other hand knows everything in detail and can therefor offer you "more" help. Trust me, Cybershrink is not attacking you :)


Reply to NM

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