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Question
Posted by: mimi | 2011/08/02

Approaching hubby

hi. Have been married 8 yrs. When we first got married, I had no problem initiating sex. Did it all the time. But hubby would turn me down &  tell me there is a time for everything. He always made me feel bad &  as if there was something wrong with me.He didn''t even like being kissed &  that really turned me on. After a while, I just felt very rejected &  started to feel horrid for initiating sex.

It''s been 8 yrs now &  I still can''t get myself to initiate. I want to but I feel that he is going to think the worse of me. He just made me feel really terrible when we were first married. And I just get turned off by kissing. I just can''t do it anymore.

How do I get over this. I feel so inhibited now. I just can''t relax &  enjoy sex anymore. He still isn''t the type that gives hugs &  cuddles. And he has never asked me what I want. I always tel him how to do things,but he seems to just focus on his needs. I won''t even bother suggesting any counselling of any sort. He will be totally angry with me.

Please advise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Please consult a professional: the problem, you and your husband have, is deep-seated and over close to a decade. only a professional can assist both of you to identify and address the issue(s)

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2011/08/22

Dear " Dr"  Dave
can you please stop posting youre comments on this site you are not a doc. sooo...
get a job .

Reply to anon
Posted by: Dr Dave | 2011/08/05

Mimi, give it a bash again. You should never be shy to initiate sex if you are truly feeling aroused. If he brushed you off and is ''not in the mood'' or gives you the explanation about ''there is a time for everything'' then ask him when would this time be? That should open up an interesting discussion to see when the right time is from his perspective. Voice your feelings about ''the right time'' too and let us know what he says.

He is very fortunate to have a lovely wife with a healthy sex drive and I really hope he can embrace that and give you what you need to.

Dr Dave

Reply to Dr Dave
Posted by: sexologist | 2011/08/03

Please consult a professional: the problem, you and your husband have, is deep-seated and over close to a decade. only a professional can assist both of you to identify and address the issue(s)

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Just me | 2011/08/02

Walk past him with some sexy underwear on and watch his reation

Reply to Just me

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