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Posted by: Xmas Blues | 2005/12/13

Anyone out there?

I'm always dreading this time of the year ever since i got married, my husband wants us to spend xmas with his family which i'm not very fond of and i know that they are also not fond me. We are tolerating each other for the sake of their beloved son and brother.This year it's gonna be more than the xmas days only, he is suggesting the new year as well. Would it be inconsiderate of me if i pack my bags and kids after xmas and go to our own place, just to avoid arguments. Deep down i know this is not so cool but what about my own space and comfort at the same time i don't want him to take sides which is why i'll make it easy for him to stay back regardless of the fact that me and the kids also need him.
Is there anyone who feels like this and how do i handle this without argument.

Thanks

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Our expert says:
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Discuss this with him. Does he realise how unpleasant this is for you ? And why should EVERY year go his way --- couldn't you go to some family or friends of yours, or on holiday with the kids, some of the time ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Had Enough | 2005/12/13

I am also currently having issues with my mother-in-law and we have always tolerated each other but this year, there is no way I am spending christmas with them. I suggest you speak to him and decide on which day, christmas or New year, you will be spending with the family. Suggest starting your own festive season family tradition. Festive season is suppose to be a happy time and I have decided that I am not going to be compromising the whole year and then have to sacrifice that as well.

Don't make decisions in isolation, you need to let him know how you feel and what your plan is if he insists on spending both days with them. You need him as well as they do and if you can grean and bear his family for one day, he should give the other day to you and the kids.

Good Luck. Please don't sacrifice your happiness and your hubby's quality time with the kids for the in-laws, they will not notice it anyway and will think it is their right. Sorry to sound so negative, but I am thru sacrificing myself and happiness for them.

ENJOY!!!!!Life is too short to live your happiness in the hands of others :-)

Reply to Had Enough
Posted by: Jakes | 2005/12/13

I think an honest discussion with him. New years eve is normally for me a time for close family (maybe just parents and kids) especially midnight on 31 Dec. It always has been very nostalgic or me and do not need to be on guard all the time.

Reply to Jakes
Posted by: Tango | 2005/12/13

I think its perfectly fine to not spend Xmas AND new year with his family. One or the other.

Reply to Tango
Posted by: ASP | 2005/12/13

I suggest you and hubby find a compromise?

Reply to ASP

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