Our expert says:
What you seem to be describing in yourself, is the normal capacity to handle the ups and downs of normal mood ( none of us is absolutely even-tempered at all times ). Your fiance apparently suffers from a Depressive Disorder, in which the level of depression is greater and less open to control by the individual. CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy is the only form of psychotherapy which has been shown in good research to have a powerful effect in enabling the person to control their depressions themselves, and is shown as comnparably effective to antidepressant medications, which a combination of CBT and ADs, is probably best of all. It is possible that she and even her therapist might agree to share some sessions of CBt so you can learn relevant aspects of the technique so as to help her use it well. Without the advantage of professional training and this structured technique, you are unable single-handedly to help her lift the Depression, though you could still be most valuable in encouraging her to get the best available professional help and to stick to the treatment combination she agrees on with her shrink
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