Posted by: Lebza | 2012/02/13

Any ideas fellas and ladies

Yaah Prof, you are doing a great job. I postesd about a yeat ago and the response was overwhelming and did come rite.

I decided to take my two young brothers in and provide for them . they are both studying so I am basically paying for their tuition, textbooks and they are staying with me. I am from a very broken family and our mother turned to alcohol when the going got tough. Ever since I know her she''s been enjoying his alcohol.

So Prof right now I am terrified and wondering if I will pull through and am I not neglecting myself. Am I not going to be bitter say in five years time for deffering my needs, I mean I am 30.

So how can I make sure that I dont neglect my needs completely and my inhibitions are justified or am just being silly?

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Our expert says:
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Thanks for the update, and I'm pleased to hear you're progressing. You are wise to recognize the issues you raise. I agree with valid and liza. Check out all other possible sources of assistance.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lebza | 2012/02/13

Thanks so much lovely people, Valid sorry to hear what you are going through. I believe that you will be rewarded someday. You see Liza I just told me that it will be quick as they are both in Tertiary so after three years I should be fine.

Thanks so much for love

Reply to Lebza
Posted by: Liza | 2012/02/13

It''s a difficult balancing act - trying to help others without leaving your own dreams behind. Just remember that you don''t need to do this alone. You have options with regards to school fees etc.

Since your brothers are living with you, you can get a government grant for being their ''foster parent''. You will have to go to the family court to have yourself declared as the foster parent to qualify for the grant. I know it''s not much, but each little bit helps.

School fees - You would also qualify for a full subsidy on school fees if you''ve been declared a foster parent. This could reduce your financial burden by quite a bit.

Your nearest family court will be able to help you apply to become their foster parent. It doesn''t cost an arm an a leg in legal costs either unless you pay a lawyer to do all the waiting and form-filling for you.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza
Posted by: valid | 2012/02/13

No, you are not being silly at all. Your concerns are VALID. It''s wonderful that you are looking after your brothers and I commend you for this. My advice would be to not invest all your money and energy into looking after them. You have to put your needs and happiness first or otherwise you will become bitter later on as you''ve sacrificed a lot for them. I''m in your boat and at 41yrs old, I am angry and bitter.

Reply to valid

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