Posted by: S | 2013/02/18

any advice on various issue''s?

Maintenance/name change/my ex was retrenched about 8 months ago - he paid a little for the first 2 months and since nothing - he started his own thing at home so I know he is getting some money in, in terms of a retrenchement package he had lots of stories about if he was getting any...needless to say heused to only pay R2200 - schools fees alone are R3000, excl aftercare/extra muruals etc which in terms of our agreement he is liable for...
when I flew up to JHB Dec he told me how he goes to all sorts of rallys etc but his friends pay -MMM - cant believe that completely, his girlfriend was fired/contract eneded - who knows the real story at the same time as him and has not bothered to get another job (however I am not interested in her doings, she has nothing to do with the mainenance)
SO - after beign so nice and allowing him to get away with " murder"  as such for the last 4 yrs, what do I do?
There is no way he will come to CT to attend a maintenance court, and I can not risk my job by attending courts that I know he wont pitch up at..
Lastly he doesn''t even bother contact his son- I even offered that he can give me a missed call and I will call back for him to speak to my son (my son is 9)
Offered for him to give up custody last year, but he kicked up a big fight and said I was unreasonable...
There is no interest even in how my son is doing in any form...

Any idea how old a child must be to change his surname if he wants to?
(my curretn partner and I are getting married end of the year so my son may want to chagne his name, he is no fool and has realised his Dad doesn''t bother, which is really sad)

Any comments and advice are welcome please

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Posted by: S | 2013/02/21

Hi Zen,
Funny you say make personal changes, this is not about what I can afford, its the legalities and our rights - actually the school my son is in, is the only one in CT that provide''s for his needs - he has neurological dysfunction. This is not about the best education but about where he will be taught and trained towards being a independant person some day. Most schools are for physical or metaly disabled not neurological challenges.
Before I sent him there I did LOT of research and many, many visits to schools as far as there is no way I will move him.
It is not a matter of not being able to afford it, its a matter of what are my RIGHTS and my son''s RIGHTS.
At a certain age children can apply for maintenance from both parents if the parents are not doing their duty as such.

I need advice on my rights and my son''s rights as well as if he can change his name.
Anyone got advise?

Reply to S
Posted by: Zen | 2013/02/19

You seem to have been struggling for some time with maintenance. Have you also considered maybe putting your son in a different school, where the school fees is less? You seem to be struggling and it doesn''t seem that much will change very soon, as your ex is now unemployed and unreliable, even when employed.

You need to make some personal changes as well. Yes, we all want to give our children the best education, etc. But you are unable to do so on your own and you know that your ex will not be able to support you. He has been giving you the run around and will continue to do so.

Reply to Zen

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