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Question
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/01/22

Anxious to be married is it wrong??

Im anxious to be married although my boyfriend is not financially secure he has a good job in a good company but he is always broke I dont know where his money goes to as he has no accounts at all but he lives with his parents who dislike me. He lives in another town I only see him on weekends so i dont get to see what he does or where he goes. Ive discussed this with him & he assures me he can take care of us. I also have a good job but im just worried.We have been together for almost 2 years & I wanna get married because we live in different towns. Do you think I should wait till we have enough money? I am so desperate to get married because its hard being away from him. My boyfriend is also keen to get married. He is 21 years & im 24.

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Our expert says:
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We usually don't deal with questions of Right and Wrong. It's not unusual at all for someone to be keen to get married, or for others not to be terribly keen to get married. It happens. Now, if your bf has a good and well-paying job but is always broke, obviously something is wrong. Does he have another secret wife ? A drug or alcohol or gambling problem ? Or otherwise where does all his money go ? And he lives with his parents ? This just doesn't sound at all like a good bet. Its not so much a question of waiting until the pair of you have enough moeny ( how much is "enough "? ) but at least you need to find out what happens to his money. With his parents disliking you ( why would that be ? ) and living in different towns, this doesn't sound at all like a promising relationship, does it ?
You may be keen to get married, but that doesn't mean you should grab the first possibility. There is no advantage at all in having a miserable and hasty marriage. ake your time and wait for a far more wholesome and open relationshiop

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Our users say:
Posted by: butterfly | 2008/01/23

yes sue alot of people feel that way but he is respondsible imagine you being in my shoes his parents dislike because of religion & my age I believe in doing things the right way & being good but it hurts like hell when these people dont want me around yet they dont even take the time to get to know me. I dont want to choose the cowards way out by forcing them to accept us or by getting pregnant for 2 years I have been side lined these people treat me like im inferior & yet elsewhere im loved & respected I even come from a good home my parents very strict & I believe in morals & values Ive done alot of good in their sons life I made him respondsible & I made him respect them 2 but still they treat me like an outcast even around people & family members

Reply to butterfly
Posted by: Sue | 2008/01/23

Isnt your boyfriend a bit young to be thinking about getting married??

Reply to Sue

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