Posted by: Mother in law problem | 2008/11/26


Hi All,

I have huge problem whereby my girlfriend insists on her mother living with us, I have tried this now for a year on and off and we constantly fight abou this.

Her mom is not working and neither is my GF I feel they take advantage of me as I have to pay for everything, MIL has now started to get involved in our relationship and always takes my GF' s side. My GF also has a litlle girl of 5 who I support.

We recently found out my GF is pregnant with twins which at first was really exciting. I have rented a bigger house and actually over extended myself slightly as GF was not happy in our current place. The other day I woke and and told my GF that it is not working with her mom stayng with us and its time for us to start our own family without her mom. Next thing she flies off the handle and goes absolutelly mad screaming to her mom that I am kicking them out etc. It was so embarassing and her and her mother threw me out and made me take all my things. I have since moved out and am moving into the bigger house this weekend on my own. I have put my foot down and told my GF that I refuse to live with her mom and if she wants to be with me she can but her mom cannot move in. She will not budge and says she will not come without her mother. I have put my foot down and will not live with her. I told her if thats what she wants its fine and I would still pay the child support etc. I cannot however pay rent on the place thay are still staying in.

Am I so wrong for making this stand?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds as though they are using you, milp ! I don't see why she couldn't have been working so far, nor why the MIL couldn't work --- why must they just assume that you must pay for everything ? How could they throw you out of your own home ? And if you're paying the rent, its them that have no rights there, not you.
You may want a relationship with her, but if she insists that her mother MUST be a permanent part of it, that may well be a reasonable deal-breaker. To support your OWN children is necessary, of course, but not any other hangers-on. And of course you can't continue to pay rent on the place she threw you out of --- just make sure of the terms of the lease so you dotn't find you're legally liable to pay --- end the lease and tell the landlord what has happened. The stand you are making sounds entirely fair.

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Our users say:
Posted by: anon | 2008/11/26

Thanks you CS, Since I typed this she has told her mom she has to go, however she also told me congrats I have won and I fear this has caused hatred for her towards me

Reply to anon

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