Posted by: Sensible | 2006/07/20

Angry partner

Hi all
I have been with this guy for 4 months now. He is sort of ok! but he gets angry over nothing. Time and again I am the one who eases the tension and apologise indirectly (calling him,etc). He told me of his "worst" past, that he had to be independent at the age of 10 after his mother died and he grew up so bad that he doesn't trust people. He said he always thinks that everyone is against him and want to attack him, including me. Well, about counselling, he won't got there because he is "normal", in his own words. Now, although I love him and he is always at home, buys me roses every fortnight, kisses me before and after work (all those moochy stuff!), he really gets angry for days. For instance, I would tell him that I'm not in the mood for s*x tonite and he would go angry for 4 days in a row. He just keeps quiet and never call me from work. Now, I have booked a weekend awa for us in Sept. and I'm thinking of cancelling in case he gets angry again and doesn't speak to me. He gets angry over absolutely nothing. Beats me!!

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Our expert says:
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Wgt sghould one have to work so had for a "sort of OK" relationship ? If he's so certai that he is too normal to benefit from counselling, then he cannot use any problems in his past as an excuse for ANy problems he causes such as by his anger. He sounds immature and unstable, and in need of counselling
Old School's suggestion would be a very tactful way of dealing with the specific problem you mentioned

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Posted by: Old School | 2006/07/20

Hi sensible.

I would imagine that when you tell him that you are not in the mood for sex, that he is taking this as rejection. It may be unintentionaly in the way you say it. Perhaps try something like. "Sweety, you know how much I love and want to pleasure you, but I don't feel I can give you all you deserve tonight. Can we make a definate date for XwheneverX ?". I would imagine that that will come out positivly. Remember that usualy male sex drive is higher than female sex drive, and it can be very frustrating when you are expecting something to happen and it doesn't. It is very rare that a women is in the mood and a man is not.

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