Posted by: Jay | 2006/11/06

Angry and confused

My husband is a very nice person when he is not drinking!
But the problem is that he loves to drink, and he doesn't stop 'till everything is finished, and weekends when he starts drinking, he usually end up using cocaine or cat, and with that he is busy bodybuilding using depotrone (testostorone) and deca(an anabolic steroids).
When I confront him on this he smashes everything in the house, says I need to go and see a shrink 'cause I'm crazy, he doesn't use it anymore and I'm only looking for a fight. I am not an idiot I know the signs!!! I can't help him 'cause he says he hasn't got a problem. I can't go on this way. My son is almost two and I'm scared for him, and the way he is growing up!!! How can I help him, or must I just walk away. As I said he is a very decent and friendly person when he is not drinking or using drugs. The worst is that on weekends when he is using the drugs, that next 3 to 4 days I can't keep house with him. He gets angry at nothing!!!
Please just tell me how I can help him Or what do I have to do???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

He has an alcohol problem, and is a multiple drug abuser, using illegal sreet drugs ( eg cocaine ) and illegally used and abused prescription drugs ( like the steroids ) being supplied illegally by unscrupulous persons. And then you say he gets violent round the house ( hardly surprising ).
Does he take part in competitive body building contests ? If so, some anonymous tip-offs to the officials to screen competitors for illicit drugs and steriods might be useful. yes, you cannot help him, nor can anyone else, while he abuses all these chemicals and denies the reality of his problems. This is abusive towards you and the child.
Seriously consider walking away to protect both of you, and maybe this could provide a wake-up call to him. If he is likely in any way to be violent about such a walk-away, then involve the police and a court order. being friendly now and again, just isn't enough.
HE must help himself, you cannot do it for him.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Momof3 | 2006/11/07

Marriage counselling will be the last thing on his mind.All he can think about is his next fix.

Jay I know this is very difficult but you have to be tough.For him to get help,he has to want help.He is not really to accept help yet.Unfortuantly with some drug addicts,they have to hit rock bottom before they themselves can see they need help.

If he has done something wrong,the court could send him to rehab for his time /punishment.I think a good way to move this process along is for you to move out,stating you will come back once he has gone to rehab as you fear for your childs life.I think when he is sobber enough,tell him and move out.
Good Luck

Reply to Momof3
Posted by: kat | 2006/11/06

if he isnt willing to go for marrage counselling and admit that this is a problem then i sugest you get out. the last thing you need is for you son to think this the norm.

Reply to kat

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