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Question
Posted by: Fed up | 2004/01/07

Anger + Temper

Hiya

What sorta things can u recommend to someone who has an anger management/temper problem?

I am talking about my brother... he is in his early 20s and has a temper problem... veryveryshort fuse...

This evening really really p**sed me off... He asked me to do something for him, which I did, however, due to my slight oversight...and he just lost it...

He screamed and shouted, like a 2 year old (I am younger than him), his face went blood red and his eyes were nearly popping out... He becomes very unpredictable and I dunno what to do...how do you calm someone like that down?

Could a psychiatrist help? This sort of situation happens quite regularly... I always just walk away and try and ignore it...

And the thing is... I dont (my pov) do anything to provoke it, it's like an on/off switch... my relationship with him is basically non-existent....

What should I do?

Fed Up

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Our expert says:
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Dear Fed-Up,
Well, I suppose the first problem may be that, although a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist probably Could help him, he might not be interested in seeking such help, --- and might get rather cross when it was suggested to him ?
Where someone is extra irascible, and get far too angry far too easily, it may be hard or impossible for you to avoid the outbursts as they don't relate to something your could predict or avoid. Yes, they're silly, exaggerated and excessive, but as you've discovered, it does no good at all trying to point that out at the time. In fact, walking calmly away and trying to ignore it is often the best option available. At least one avoids doing or saying anything that would fan the flames.
Have you managed to form a better relationship with him BETWEEN tantrums ? That would probably be the best time to gently suggest that it must be awful for him to find himself so easily getting so very annoyed, and would he be interested in doing something about it ?

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