Our expert says:
YOu need to see a good local shrink for assessment ( as there can be various reasons for such hair-trigger temper tantrums, and such bad choices of ways of responding to anger ) and selection of the most useful way to intervene.
Have you thought seriously about what sort of situations trigger these excessive rages --- and why you seem to feel satisfied by breaking things ?
Your bf's physical violence towards you is unacceptable, though one can understand that it must be very frustrating for him to have you go into your tantrums, too, and it is common advice among lay people, to slap someone's face when they get "hysterical" to help get them out of that state of increasingly unthinking fury.
Anger management if from a suitable genuine psych expert could help, but effective treatment always epends on a proper, expert diagnosis.
As for couple therapy, good idea --- call your local branch of FAMSA, and they can recommend a number of people near you, perhaps even with some particular interest in or experience of anger problems, and can discuss potential costs
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