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Question
Posted by: Bronxbaby | 2004/10/14

And Advice - regret not trying harder

Hi there
They say time heals all. Well here is my problem or dilema or what ever one calls it these days.
I was seeing a man who was everything I wanted. Well everything was going great.
He had been through a really tough time before we got together - he had lost his first born ( stillborn) though an unplanned pregnancy he still made sure the ex and her health was well looked after for the baby's sake. He supported her, went to all the checkups, appointments, did everything possible for a healthy baby. The baby died, he was obviously shattered, but their relationship was over a long time ago.
Anyways till today I dont think he is over the baby's death.
My mistake was I fell pregnant- not planned and he felt betrayed for many reasons, from then on everything between us went down hill, we eventually seperated, I felt alond and helpless, very stressed at work and lost the baby too. Another blow for him. after about two months of me losing our child he told me that he stil loved me and that he wanted us to be a couple an do things the right way, get married before we have kids......etc.
Anyways I said no because I felt crushed when he left me.... only to know that I still loved him.
Now months later - I still love him, despite what we put each other through I want to be with this man. I was so wraped up in my own pain that I could not see the pain I was putting him through.
In trying to be understood I forgot to understand, get my drift?
well anyways am I mad?
We are friends - we keep in contact and have luch regularly, he calls me and I call him too. There is still definately a vibe between us, and he is always there for me if I need him for anything. He is supportive and caring.
What should I do? Am I mad to want him back. A year has almost passed. I feel this is my life parter. I regret not working harder at the relationship. Pls help

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Our expert says:
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A agree with the comments of Foxy and Paris

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bronxbaby | 2004/10/15

Thanks - everyone for the advice.
Oh sorry - Hubby, he was never married, was only seeing her.
He is 26 and I am 24 I just feel so strongly about him, he is a great guy, very strict but loving and caring. someone I can respect.
Anyways thanks again.

Reply to Bronxbaby
Posted by: hubbie | 2004/10/15

take it easy - for some people a divorce can be traumatic. He seems to be a loyal dependable one. He must find himself before he can find you. Also looks like he feels guilty about his divorce - he will get over it.

Reply to hubbie
Posted by: Foxy | 2004/10/14

What i can gather, is that this man still has very strong feelings for you, so maybe this time apart was good for both of you, he has time to heal, you have time to think things through. By the sound of things you just need to tell him how you HONESTLY feel about him, and then from there you can take it step by step day by day. You dont need to marry him, just tell him you still love him and you want to share your life with him, that this past year have made only your feelings for him stronger and you realise more and more that he is the one for you

Reply to Foxy
Posted by: PARIS | 2004/10/14

Dont blame yourself for the way you reacted. Obviously you needed time to be angry/hurt (all the usual emotions) and now you realize that you still love him, and by the sounds of things he still loves you.

Tell him how you feel, you both went through a tough time. And both reacted the way you did for your own personal reasons. NO ONE IS TO BLAME!!!!!

Keep us posted on the outcome, i am sure it will be a positive one at that.

PARIS
XXX

Reply to PARIS

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