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Question
Posted by: funkydredz | 2004/12/24

Anal sex

I am a woman of 30. I wud like to try anal sex wit my boyfriend. i have suggested it to him but he said he doenst like the idea but wil think about it. is it normal for a woman to want it there? i've neva inserted any objects there b4 but i think it wud be nice and wil add some spice into our sex life.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Many months ago I wrote the 10 rules of anal sex, if you can't find it in the archives write to me at disa@icon.co.za and I will forward you a copy. Else here is my (non - picture version).


Don't be fooled into thinking anal sex is only for man's pleasure - it can be quite stimulating for women, too! The anus is rich in nerve endings, and some women can orgasm from the pelvic contractions combined with the excitement of anal play. Read on for details.
Take it Slow


Give yourself time to relax and experiment.
Communicate with your partner - it's the key to anal pleasure.
Practice tensing and relaxing your anal muscles (Kegels) to loosen up.
Work up to intercourse by using a well-lubed finger.
Lay the finger horizontally across your anus. Gently push out, like you're having a bowel movement, and pop the finger in.


Lube it Up

Use a latex condom to protect against sexually transmitted infections.
Lubricate, lubricate, lubricate. Thicker water-based ones are best.
When you think you've used enough lubrication, put on some more.
Try having an orgasm before you begin anal play to help relax.
Experiment with dildo harnesses for anal sex with male or female partners.


Talk it Through

Breathe deeply - it helps you stay in control and makes insertion easier.
Talk to your partner about the pace and depth of insertion.
Tell your partner what you like, and what's not quite right.
If you feel more than a little uncomfortable, wait and try again later.
A little bleeding is normal. If it's more than a few drops, stop immediately.


Position for Pleasure

The rectum is not straight like the vagina, so try a variety of positions.
Side by side: Best for beginners. Gives receiver the most control over penetration. Also called spooning.
Missionary: Provides face-to-face intimacy. Receiving partner lies on her back and penetrating partner approaches from the top.
Rear entry: Allows for deepest penetration. Exposes the anus for easy thrusting. Also called doggie-style.


Relax and Enjoy

Find the sensations you like most, and ask your partner to repeat them.
Stimulate your clitoris during anal penetration.
Enjoy the pelvic muscle contractions as your partner thrusts.
Don't switch back and forth from anal penetration to vaginal. It can cause infection.


Tips
It's common to feel the urge to have a bowel movement during anal play. You might need to go to the bathroom after penetration.
Thicker lubes like Slippery Stuff Gel and Maximus work best because they provide a cushion for the delicate anal tissues.
Use plain condoms, as flavored ones have been known to cause burning.
Some people like to use an enema before anal sex, even though very little fecal matter is actually stored in the rectum. Others like anal sex just because of the idea of it being "dirty."
Build up trust with your partner so that you can talk this through and make it a pleasurable, sexy experience.


Recommended Products:
Toys: Slippery Stuff gel
Books: Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women
Videos: Nina Hartley Guide to Anal Sex video

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: anal king | 2005/01/04

anal sex is absolutely brilliant for both parties.

both of you have to be in the mood and very relaxed otherwise it is to sore for the lady.

i think it is liked by the male as it is tight and a great feeling.

get you guy to give it a go, he might enjoy it more than he thinks...if he doesnt want to, i will help you...haha.

Reply to anal king
Posted by: Buns | 2004/12/24

It's not unusual to want it there. I think that you should experiment alone first. Us your fingers with some lubricant first and decide whether you like it or not.

Remember, it's not like a pu$$y there. There are little muscles around the anus and if you tense when he is trying to insert his penis, you are going to hurt. So you will need to learn to relax. So if you enjoy the feeling when you're alone, then you'll more likely relax when he wants to penetrate.

I hope that this helps.

Reply to Buns

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