Posted by: Nervous | 2008/09/02


i want to have anal sex with my boyfriend. i have not done it before and some of the reading i have done tells me it is way too painful - it went so far to say that " if you love your girlfriend you wont put her thru it" . Anyway i am so keen to try this with my b/fnd but I am afraid the pain will be so overwhelming that it will be the first and last time.

So how painful is it and can someone suggest something to ease the " process" 

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The anal sphincter (the band of muscle at the opening of the anus) is indeed strong, as it should be, and therefore pain may be experienced in attempting penetration. Some people, however, are able to achieve anal penetration and enjoy this form of sexual activity; so it is possible. Tips to assist in this process are as follows: trust your partner and that he will move only at the pace you are comfortable with (try different positions and see what works best for you); use kegels exercises (tensing and relaxing the band of muscles that surround the openings to your urethra, vagina and anus) can assist you to know when those muscles are relaxed, concentrate on relaxing your anus; use plenty of lubricant; try to get used to the feel first with smaller objects than a penis (e.g. finger) and gradually move up to his penis.

Learning to relax this sphincter can take time, so if you are keen to try this, try try again, but be patient with yourself...

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: salisto | 2008/09/03

i am a str8 acting guy,bisexual i have done anal sex and it is painful at first but u shld use a durex lubricant available at clicks and it is very nyc only if ur bf do u slowly and gentle.

Reply to salisto
Posted by: Sg | 2008/09/03

I am told that it can be extremely painful BUT provided you ensure plenty of lubrication and your boyfriend takes things very slow and gently you can enjoy it.

Reply to Sg
Posted by: ? | 2008/09/03

I personally hate the idea...the idea of him putting his penis there ..grosses me out! But if you are curious to try it, go ahead. You will know exactly how you feel about it once you' ve tried it. I guess using LOTS of lubricant is the only way to ease the process. But the minute you feel uncomfortable or find it sore, tell your man to stop. Most guys are very respectful when it comes to this, and he won' t continue if you' re not enjoying it. So don' t feel bad to ask him to stop.

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