Our expert says:
The anal sphincter (the band of muscle at the opening of the anus) is indeed strong, as it should be, and therefore pain may be experienced in attempting penetration. Some people, however, are able to achieve anal penetration and enjoy this form of sexual activity; so it is possible. Tips to assist in this process are as follows: trust your partner and that he will move only at the pace you are comfortable with (try different positions and see what works best for you); use kegels exercises (tensing and relaxing the band of muscles that surround the openings to your urethra, vagina and anus) can assist you to know when those muscles are relaxed, concentrate on relaxing your anus; use plenty of lubricant; try to get used to the feel first with smaller objects than a penis (e.g. finger) and gradually move up to his penis.
Learning to relax this sphincter can take time, so if you are keen to try this, try try again, but be patient with yourself...
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