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Question
Posted by: Kelly | 2004/03/04

Am I wrong or his he?


My boyfriend and I went to my sister and her b/friends new house here in london two nights ago. I was busy helping my sister strip wallpaper on the other side of the room while the three of them were on the opposite side talking about light fittings. Anyway, after a while I ask a question which was actually what they were discussing and I was not listerning. That same night I was playing with my sisters new nokia cell and joking around. My boyfriend got all in a funny mood, like he was suddenly irritated with me. He told me that I never listern when we are around other people and sometimes switch off. Can you believe we had a huge fight over that. He said that I often do it and he gets embarrased because I come across dumb? I said what the hell is it to you? He said its a reflection of him. I told him that I dont give a damn and Im not some little girl thats going to do what he tells me to do. How can a man tell his girlfriend that she must listern more around people? I told him to rather go find a little bird that will do what he wants her to do cause thats not me! He is bossy and domineering and I have told him that too. I refuse to be told how to act around other people by my boyfriend.

Am I overreacting or is he rather controlling? So what if I sometimes dont listern? Whats the big deal. I asked him if its worth fighting over and he said that he doesnt know why I got angry over him being honest with me. Chidish is what I think. I am so annoyed.!! Who does he think he is.? Mr high and mighty. ?



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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear Kelly,
Gee, don't there seem to be a lot of people about today, worying about whether they're over-reacting to a situation ? Must be the weather.
OK, you were both over-reacting. Maybe for some reason he feels shy in that company, and bothered by little things you do, which, as you say, he has no need to bother about. And he wasn't being "honest" with you --- he wasn't telling you factually that your zip was undone --- he was scolding you about someting trivial.
Isn't it hard to choose how to respond to somebody being all hgih and mighty, without oneself seeming high and mighty too ?

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