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Question
Posted by: Wife | 2004/11/08

Am I wrong????

My boss called me into his office at 9 this morning to discuss a few issues, my husband called me and I had my cellphone in my hand but all I did was just pressed the button on the cellphone for it not to ring, I did not answer the call. I could not see that it was my husband on the phone he phoned from his office line, when I came out of my bosses office (after 30min) I phone my husband and asked him if he phoned and he was very annoyed because I did not answer his call. He is still very angry with me and I am so annoyed I could not said to my boss, sorry I'm going in a meeting!

I've had enough of his insecurities!

Please help me to solve this?

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Our expert says:
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Tell him to grow up and stop being pathetic. You have a responsible job, and should not have to take phonecalls from him while talking with your boss in an important meeting. You called him back as soon as you could --- what was his problem ? But as Inc says, switch the phone OFF before any such meeting or conversation, so it's clear that you are occupied. Chelle is absolutely right --- during working hours we must all expect others to actually atend to their work, and not rush to answer personal calls. Would he really prefer that you risk losing your job ? Would he be ready to earn enought to make up for the lost salary ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: NET EKKE | 2004/11/08

DAAR IS MANIERE EN MANIERE---ELKE PAARTJIE MOET MAAR NET N BESLUIT DAAROOR NEEM. EK EN MY VROU IS ALTWEE IN PROFESSIONELE BEROEPE, SY N BANKBESTUURDER EN EK N INGENIEUR.

ONS OOREENKOMS IS DIT--EN DIT WERK VIR ONS. SY SAL MY N " PLEASE CALL ME " GEE AS SY MET MY WIL PRAAT EN EK DOEN DAN DIE BEL WERK EN VISE VERSA. SOU NIE EEN VAN ONS TWEE ONMIDDELIK REAGEER NIE, WEET ONS DAT DIE ANDER PARTY BESIG IS, MAAR OOK WEET ONS DAT SODRA DAAR N TYD IS, SAL DIE EEN WAT MOET BEL, DAN BEL.

ONS HET NIE TYD OM TE GINNE-GAAP NIE, SO AS DIE EEN DIE ANDER SOEK, BESKOU ONS DIT AS DRINGEND EN BEL SO GOU MOONTLIK.

Reply to NET EKKE
Posted by: Husband - MTN | 2004/11/08

Dit word genoem kommunikasie as julle nie weet nie en NIE insecurities nie,hoe dof kan 'n mens wees.Los die mense uit om self tot 'n oor eenkoms te kom.Wat is die doel van 'n cell foon,seker om net sms's te stuur.Of iemand aan die hande te kry as hulle nie op die gewone foon beskikbaar is nie.As die damn ding 'n probleem is gooi dit weg.

Reply to Husband - MTN
Posted by: miss | 2004/11/08

you were not in the wrong at all! when i call my hubby at work i always ring his cell as he is mostly in meetings all the time. i let it ring twice or three times then hang up. if he is not busy he calls me back, if he is in a meeting then i have not disturbed as he leaves his phone on silent, then he calls me back when he can. tell him that business is business and you cannot jeopardise your career over his insecurities.

Reply to miss
Posted by: Nina | 2004/11/08

Wanneer daar vertroue in 'n verhouding is, sal die ander party weet dat jy nie nou met hom kan praat nie omdat omstandighede (wat dit ook al mag behels) dit nie toelaat nie en nie omdat jy nie wil nie.

Reply to Nina
Posted by: Bull | 2004/11/08

Daar is definitief 'n verskil tussen lief wees vir iemand en 'n obsessie hê met iemand.

Jou man is die een wat verkeerd is. Ek werk by 'n plek waar jy sommer vinnig ingeroep kan word vir 'n meeting wat meer soos 'n bespreking is maar jy kan nie op jou selfoon sit en praat nie. As my man my dan bel en ek antwoord nie my foon nie dan weet hy dat dit vir my baie ongeleë was en hy aanvaar dit want ons altwee werk en ons werk is vir ons belangrik want sonder ons werk kan ons nie leef nie.

Praat met jou man hieroor en vra hom om te verstaan dat dit somtyds moeilik is om oproepe te ontvang maar dat jy hom dadelik sal terugbel sodra dit gelee is. Ek is seker dis nie te veel gevra nie.

As hy dan "insecure" is soos jy dink, dan moet hy dalk hulp kry sodat julle hierdie probleem kan uitsorteer.

Sterkte

Reply to Bull
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/11/08

For Diablo
it is crazy for any man to expect his wife to let him know whenever she is going into a meeting. No matter how much you love someone, you don't need to know their every move. Why can't he just use his brain, seeing that he knows she is at work and that she must be busy with something else. Leavea message! It's actually simple. When men start behaving that way, I end up suspecting that they are controlling and don't trust. Not an ideal relationship at all.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Chelle | 2004/11/08

You weren't wrong not to answer the phone call. Because you have a cell phone it doesn't mean you have to answer every call either.
You were in a meeting with your boss, and it would have been rude and inappropriate to interrupt the meeting to take a call on your cell phone.
During work hours you husband should expect that you won't always be available when he calls.
Your husband is being a bit oversensitive here. What did he actually expect you to do in that situation?
Lesson for you - next time in a meeting, switch the phone off - anyone calling can leave a voice message and you can contact them when you are done.

Reply to Chelle
Posted by: Inc | 2004/11/08

Best thing to do it put your phone off when you are with your boss.

Reply to Inc
Posted by: Another wifey | 2004/11/08

u were not wrong at all my dear, business is business, i do the same knowing its him and i know as well if he does not anser after about 5 rings during the week he is in a meeting. What is wrong with your hubby, he must RELAX

Reply to Another wifey
Posted by: Diablo | 2004/11/08

Baie maklik,hy is lief vir jou en is dit so moeilik om net jou man te laat weet jy gaan in 'n "meeting" in,as hy dieselfde aan jou doen,hoe sal jy voel.Word wakker en ruik die koffie,miskien is hy een van die ouens wat te veel om gee en te veel doen vir sy vrou en jy is een van daardie vrouens wat dit nie waardeur nie .Wees liewer bly en dankbaar hy gee om en bel jou,hy kan net so wel 'n girl op die kant kry wat sy belangstelling sal waardeur,Dis wat ek sou doen as ek jou man was.

Vrouens soos jy sien gewoonlik hulle agter ente by ouens soos ons.

Reply to Diablo

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