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Question
Posted by: Maysie | 2005/07/19

Am i wasting my time?

Last year December my b/f went on holiday for a whole month, over the weekend i found out that he only went for one week to the place where he was suppose to be, the rest of his holiday he spent some place else. I did'nt have time to confront him about this bcause there were other people with us and later that evening we all went out together. While we were at this place he greeted a girl and talked to her for a while for the rest of the evening he stood next to me and looking at this women the whole evening i also noticed that she was looking back. Where ever she would move his eyes would follow i asked him about this but he was denying i got upset and left without telling him. He phoned me and asked why i left and said that he did'nt do anything wrong and asked wether i'm using this bcause i want to break up with him i answerd maybe. That was the last time we spoke, i'm normally not a jealous person and might have overreacted, i wanted to phone him and apologise for my behaviour that Friday evening but realised that i was'nt wrong and the fact that he lied to me about his holiday makes me furious. I don't know what to do this relationship frustrates the hell out of me, he is not someone who talks a lot and i have a problem confronting people. What am i to do i love this man and i know he will come back to me and act as if nothing happened but i don't want that to happen i want to talk about everything that's wrong in this relationship but don't know how to start. I have a tendency of taking the easy way out and that is break-up for me i want to fight for this relationship but don't know how. Am i wasting my time with this relationship?

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Posted by: Sunshine | 2005/07/20

Agree with Elizabeth as well, although only call him to setup a time to chat to him face to face. That way you can judge better on whether he is lying or bending the thruth by looking at his body language and eyes.
I re-emphasize - talk over issues face to face.
Oh, and make yourself look good before you go over, that way you will feel more confident ;)

Reply to Sunshine
Posted by: Elizabeth | 2005/07/19

You must confront him. Tell him why you are annoyed with him. It doesnt make you less of a person to open up to him. You cant go in and out of relationships like this otherwise you will never settle with anyone? The thing is where was he on that holiday? That would drive me mad not knowing. On the other hand you must be careful not to be too jealous as you said.

I think you must call him. Tell him what is bothering you otherwise you will lose him forever.

Reply to Elizabeth
Posted by: Sunshine | 2005/07/19

You wont be able to tell whether you are wasting your time with this relationship or not if you havent talked about these issues first. Dont beat around the bush, get to the source of things, set up a time and get to the bottom of things. Prepare mentally what you want to say and what info you need to get from him in order to make a rational decision whether you want to break up or not. It doesnt sound like issues are being handled dynamically and sorted out. Dont let it linger, while its still fresh on your mind and heart, think what you want to say and make your decision.
Its not good for your body and mind to leave issues unresolved knowing there is a decision to be made.
Take care
xxx

Reply to Sunshine

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