Posted by: Anon | 2008/08/25

Am I ungrateful?


My husband and I went overseas for three weeks recently and my parents-in-law came to stay at our house to take care of our pets. During that time they took it on themselves to re-tile the shower, re-paint all the light switches, clean out ALL our cupboards and closets and my MIL even mended one of my bras. They took on my domestic worker because they feel that she is not doing a proper job and my FIL did some serious gardening in the back yard, even digging up one of my favourite shrubs.
I know that they only did these things because they wanted to treat us, but I feel that they crossed the line.

My husband is very impressed with everything they did and can’ t understand why I am upset.
They made me feel incapable of running my own household. Am I being ungrateful?

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Our expert says:
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Almost certainly all this was very well meant, but as you feel, intrusive and not something they should have done without asking you first. Ask your husband how they would feel if you two had house-sat their home, and done similar work therein.

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Our users say:
Posted by: vis | 2008/08/25

Goodness, if I knew that my MIL had been through ALL of my cupboards, I would totally freak out!!!!! Not that i have anything to hide, but we are just not close like that!!

How on earth did they know you would LIKE the tiles that you now have to live with!!

Very generous etc - but wayyyy overstepping the boundaries!!

I would not let them house sit again!

Reply to vis
Posted by: Ivy | 2008/08/25

Hahahaha, excuse me for laughing, but i couldn' t help it. Mending your bra?? that is a bit much!

Saying that im sure the two oldies just did it out of pure love. Don' t be mad at them for doing what they did, rather try to just accept it with a sigh and a raised eyebrow. I can understand how you feel tho, completely. Just one of those situations where you have to grin and bare it i think.

They just want to feel important and show that they can also still fix and mend stuff (even if it IS your bra!)

Reply to Ivy
Posted by: Been There | 2008/08/25

Hi, I think what your in-law' s did was very generous of them.... however I do think that they overstepped the boundaries as far as cleaning out your cupboards and MIL mending your underwear. it is as if they ' voilated your space' . I do understand how you feel as I have had a similar experience.... My MIL repacked my underwear drawer.... my hubby couldnt understand just how ' violated'  I felt, this was my very personal stuff.... Say thank you to them for all they did, but be wary of asking them to house-sit for you.. if you do.. perhaps lock all the cupboards....!

Reply to Been There

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