Posted by: Hurting | 2008/06/25

Am I too stupid to be staying ????

My boyfriend of 5 years, has been having female "friends" for as long as I know him. Initially, he told me that he does not keep female friends because he sleeps with them, this was later denied when I ask what he needs these friends for? I once found condoms in his car, has voicemails from girls late at night when he's out with the "BOYS", when I work from 2pm-11pm, he makes numerous calls to his female "friends" has at least 3new female contacts in his phone a week. He hides money from me, he lies about anything and everything, when these friends of his get him caught, they all of a sudden have crushes on him... I fell preganant and my sexual patterns never changed and I had never refused him sex before, but while i was preggoes, He brought 1 of his "friends" home only to find that I am at home and not working late. I was devasted and almost lost the baby, but nothing changed. He tells me that I can't keep telling him about the past but

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Our expert says:
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The first thing that strikes me is this -- why is this all about what HE wants or thinks he needs ? Why isn't he apparently ever bothered about trying to accomodate you ? It sounds ominously as though he uses you to fill in when his "friends" are unavailable, and to care for him at home. There's no sort of genuine love he could feel for you that included sleeping and flirting with a whole bunch of other woman. And why do you feel you need this boy, whi is so far from being a man ? If he hasn't yet infected you with HIV/AIDS, it's only a matter of time. SOn't you believe that you deserve better than this ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Kb | 2008/06/25

Hurting - the signs are their, why are you still needing advice. Nobody is going to tell you to stay with him and work through his disgusting ways. Get out, before you get some sexual sickness.

Reply to Kb
Posted by: lili | 2008/06/25

I'm sorry I know how you feel...I've been there and you know what I forgave him only for him to do it to me again...I was 5 months preggies when he did it to me the first time...You can't change him...and he'll never be yours a 100% So if i could give you any advise, run like hell...I'm happier and I'm doing great...It's not easy and you feel like your world is about to crash but it does get better, I promise.....hang in there

Reply to lili
Posted by: Candi | 2008/06/25

This is going to be harsh but you need to get out. He has no respect for you sweety. I know it's hurtful but what are you hanging on for? Years of heartache where you will end up having no respect for yourself, you will shed many tears and for what ......... I've been in your shoes before and I was foolish to hang on. Twenty years later and I look back and regret my whole life with him. The tears, the anger, the fights, the hurt and bitterness. Pluck up the courage and leave - find someone who treats you with dignity and respect.

Reply to Candi
Posted by: southernwrite | 2008/06/25

Yes u r

Reply to southernwrite
Posted by: anon | 2008/06/25

yes u r stupid just goe what are u waiting for ,aids ,i dnt mean to be harsh but girls at times please we should use our brains the signs are all there ur lucky u got a baby love and take care of ur child kick that bastard out of ur life, u also sound like u have a self esteem problem work on that u deserve better than this ,i dnt know why gorls catch their partners with other pple but u still forgive and stay on in ur house this guy has no respect for u at all wake up

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