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Question
Posted by: Evil mom? | 2006/11/06

Am I to strickt??

My daughter is 15 years old!!! She met this one guy on some "chat site".......Grrrrrrrrrr........I told her about all the dangers meeting peeps on these things......Now......she wants to go on a date with this bloke!!!! I refused!!!!.......I told her that I first want to meet this guy.......I want to meet his parents etc.......We don't know anything about him accept for what he is telling her over the phone!!! She is furious at me! We now do have huge fights about this, and she says that if I don't want to give in, into her meeting this guy, she will do it "skelm" and if something happens, it will be my fault!!!! Please.........please.....I really do need some serious god advise on this!!!!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi,

simply put, no you are not being too strict your looking out for your daughter's safety. Whist many young people use things like mixit to speak with people they know, there can be at times more sinister people out there who pretend to be of a certain age when they are not. So wanting to meet this guy first is the right thing to do.

Your daughter trying to blackmail you - as that is what she is doing emotionally should be given short shrift! You are the parent and in this instance I do not think you are being controlling or over-protective, you are being sensible. Maintain your boundaries and if after saying no she defies you then you will need to think about appropriate consequences to this. Your daughter is saying let me go and do this or I will go and do it anyway and that is not acceptable!

So my advice is that either she allows you to meet him or forget it. Sometimes a parents love has to be of the tough kind.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ;ekqer3r3444 | 2006/11/13

tell her he can pick her up at your house and have the father waiting to answer the door and make him act like a crazy man so the guy shits a brick... and get him a fake badge to pretend hes a cop! Did it to a guy my sister met on MXIT and it worked!

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Posted by: ... | 2006/11/06

why dont u advice to go for dinner everyone... then he can come for dinner at a restuarant (public) and then afterwards they can go for a movie at the mall, and you guys can stick around and when she is done at the movies she goes home with the family and the guy goes his way. i mean she should understand that about 2 weeks ago or so a girl was found in an apartment of a guy she has met over the mobile chat service and that you love her too much to scar her, you should let her know that you are not keeping her from a person she feels attracted to but you keeping her from being hurt at her age. I dont have advice either but i do think she will do it without your knowledge if you like it or not and say something do happen.. i think you should plan something in a public area at least for the first time its hard to invite total strangers into your house.. its cruel out there... Good luck mom and you are not evil i would do the same i guess.

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Posted by: Angie | 2006/11/06

I don't have any advice - but I don't think you are being too strict at all! In this day and age and with all the new technology, it is so easy for people to pretend to be someone they're not... I think it is perfectly reasonable for you to want to meet the guy first! Not just for your own peace of mind, but for your daughter's safety. Doesn't she realise that? This guy could be lying about who he is, etc... It makes sense for her to meet him with you present, because like you said, something could go horribly wrong. If he is worth her time and energy, he will at least be willing to meet you. If he doesn't want to - then you have to start asking why! If he has nothing to hide - then surely he will be willing to make the effort in order to date your daughter?

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