Posted by: Mpho | 2008/06/23


I realised this friday that am 6wks preggies with 2nd child. my hb brought his child from another relship to come and live with us after consulting with his family on the matter and mind u he found be living in this house. last year i did the gratitude and asked that the then 18yr old go and stay with mum or grandma but was faced with dom vio to extent i obtained a restraining order and my in-laws could not be happy since they brought the child over with vengeance. i am independent - do everything in the house no matter how much i complained that i needed assistance from hb. our son is 6 later this yr nad he got caught up in the entanglement of last yr - took him counselling he is fine now. 2day my hb wants to make ID for his son but wants our marriage certificate for proof that he is married to me. son uses same surname as him. i only asked why does the mother of the boy not get involved since she is the biological and father is the biological and a legal guardian thus no need for our marriage certificate. i was scolded and given an ultimatum for our marriage. i feel my hb is spoilt since he is forever on the phone with his family or visit them. 19yr was not around on friday and when asking got no answer from hb - he is reapiting Gr11 and i can see he has failed but father does not worry - he has a rich stepma who will provide. over my salary i do extra jobs and am in business he does not know of am preggies cannot tell him - since with my last preggies it almost cost me the baby and my health but we are fine. AM I NAIVE OR WHAT i hate my husband for lacking a backbone - we are off sex for more than a month now and cant be any better - is it a way to treat a wife and your other children over an illegitimate child. HE DOES LITERALLY NOTHING FOR ME and he cut the medical aid this year because it was too high for him yet i must clothe, feed and provide shelter and comfort for him and his outside children. his son is spoilt rotten and lacks respect thinks i am his compatriat and that it is a favour from his father and that when i get him in line and tell his after when he does not do the chores - i make them fight. IF I AM SO HORRIBLE AND DISREPECTFUL WIFE WHO IS EGOISTIC AND MATERIALISTIC what does he want with me and his child as well. Bombshell was with regard to the cars - he's got his i have mine - lesson learnt while on maternity was lipsticks and many woman in my car - thus why i separated the cars - he keeps his i keep mine.
I THINK IT IS TIME I CALL IT QUIT ON THIS MARRIAGE AND MY HB CAN GO TO THE NEAREST HELL FOR ALL I CARE. STUFF MY IN-LAWS AS WELL..... all they do is demand money - i repaired my car last for 13grand he told his family he has to take my car to repair and paid that much..... YOUR OPINION PLS.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

SOmetimes, some men seem to remain more married to their families than to their wife. At 18 it is high time the son started to care for himself, and the wife surely ought to be involved in caring for him. ANd the son if and when living with you, ought to respect you. IS it possible to persuade him to join you in mariage counselling ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: ANON | 2008/06/24

leave the bastard it wont get any better trst me been there done that as for that step child needs to take a hike with the father u cant be a provider and still they dnt respect u its unacceptable

Reply to ANON
Posted by: Lin | 2008/06/23

Sjoe, I can see why you're so upset.
Have you been for marriage counselling? If not, it might be wise. Also it'll give you an opportunity to tell hubby about your pregnancy.
You and hubby'll need to put some boundaries for his son.
It's hard when outside parties form part of a marriage (ex and son). They will always be apart of the marriage.
It's up to you and hubby to decide TOGETHER what needs to be done - a marriage counsellor will be alot of help. The counsellor will open the communication lines and the two of you will be able to talk frankly to each other.

Reply to Lin

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