Posted by: BK | 2009/07/14

Am i self-fish or not

I have being dating with my bf 4 almost 2 years. I was pregnant and had a miscarriage in march. While i was pregnant we planned our future, i.e. he will pay lobola in october and has being saving for that. Afer the miscarriage we were both disappointed and hurt, we decided to try again after he had paid lobola.
Last wednesday he informed me that he lied to me about the saving issue, he wants to extend her mom' s house and he is in debt and wants me to assist him to management his finances. I really don' t know what to do or tell him, cause i feel so betrayed and helpless. He should not have initially promised me that he intends to pay lobola and should have told me he still have to renovate her mom' s house. The worst thing is he does not have anything to start renovating the house and he has a debt of plus minus R35 000. He knew that he had some goals that he wanted to achieve, but did nothing about it.

I don' t know if i should continue with the relationship or walk away and i am not sure if he is taking advantage that i am kind and financially stable/ surviving. I also think he is irresponsible. Pleace advise....

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Our expert says:
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Maybe it'd be a good idea to "help" him with his finances, if by that he means look into them and advise him on how to manage them --- NOT if he wants you, without a real committment on his side, to help him PAY for either his debts or his mom's house. It is not a good sign at all if he had other plans, and debts of R 35 ooo, without telling you about them. He may be taking advantage of you. You need to discuss this carefully and thoroughly together.

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Our users say:
Posted by: ME | 2009/07/14

Gal, gal, gal, I don' t know but I think he is using you. He was supposed to tell you the truth from the start, and now that he' s in trouble and he needs your help financially, he decides to tell you the truth?......I don' t know, but I think he' s manipulating you.....

Reply to ME

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