Our expert says:
YOu know, if anyone finds themselves comparing their sexual partner to ANYONE else, they themselves are not concentrating or performing well --- sex is about what is happening at the time, not scoring the encounter like the judges at an Olympic weight-lifting event.
And if he HAS had a lot more experience than you, and has chosen - and continues to choose - to be with you, rather than returning to any outstanding former partners, then presumably he must be more than satisfied with you. Otherwise why would he stay ?
Unfortunate that your first experience wasn't satisfying for you --- and it doesn't sound like he was all that skilled or thoughtful about it. As for him doing with you things he has done with former partners, well, there's only a relatively limited number of ways to have sex, and not all that many things a couple can do with each other, so he's bound to repeat --- but again, comparisons would be an unhelpful distraction for him, and really aren't likely.
But you're doing something very similar, which we call "specatoring" --- if you are busy watching yourself, and him, and thinking about what's going on, like a spectator or examiner preparing to give a score, you're not getting into the sex itself, and performance and satisfaction is always reduced by doing this. When you are anxiously watching him and worrying that he's thinking of someone else --- you are automatically thinking about something else.
Threesomes I have no respect for, at all --- they're exercises for people who are bored with their own sexuality, and emotionally stunted people who can't really concentrate and commit themselves to their partner. Can you see how self-defeating it is to want to or expect to do something with him that he has never done before ? What ? Swinging from the chandelier with a frog in each hand ? Sex shouldn't be about setting new records or running through a menu of options, but actually about being a significant part of a real relationship --- and oddly, it sounds from your description that he may be more able to do that than you. Why must it always be about something "new" ? What's wrong with an enjoyable usual way of doing things ?
Seriously, seeing a personal counsellor might be a good idea, to work through your hang-ups about sex, so as to enjoy what you have and enjoy the relationship, rather than being so obsessed with other people who seem to be present only in your mind, and not in his. ( and of course your questions keep dragging those previous partners back into bed with the pair of you. That's worse than a 3-some, that's a 20-some ).
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