Posted by: Normal | 2007/06/22

Am I normal?

I love making love....quickies, planned, whatever, I enjoy it thoroughly. My husband on the other hand doesnt. If it were up to himn to make a move it would happen once a month. SERIOUSLY, even though he will deny it. He is starting to get irritated with me for my trying to get him all in the mood in an increased level nowadays. I could do it everyday, but will settle for 3 times a week. He says Im not normal, and that he is just too tired, which is strange because his job is supposedly slow these days.
Hes behaviour these days worries me becasue he was addicted to porn in the past. He also had a short affair last year, which we worked through. I suppose I still have trust issues, and maybe Im overcompensating with the sex. Its reached the point where I feel like he actually doesnt want me, and create a fight everytime I want to get intimate. Should I rather look at myself? Am I normal?

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Our expert says:
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"Normal" has very wide boundaries. But what's needed within any stable relationship, is some worked out accomodation between the partners that might not give each of them all they want, but gives them both as much as is practical of what they want. Can't you to, perhaps with the aid of a few sessions with a marriage counsellor, work out a compromise ? As for "normal" and frequency of sex, some people want it every day and more often than that, some are content with once a week or less. Though if he is relativwely uninterested in sex, an addiction to porn and an affair sound unlikely companions to that state. Maybe, as you notice, you could be asking for more and more sex, not necessarily for the sex as such, but to convince yourself that this is proof that he wants you ( and wants nobody else ). Marriage counselling would be an awfully good idea

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Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2007/06/22

There is considerable variation in what can be consider "normal". You are definitely not abnormal. How did you and hubby work through your problems last year, did you go for counselling? Perhaps you should consider that now.

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